15 Years Addicted to Heroin, 5 Years Addicted to Life — Here’s What’s Changed

“Throw out your conceited opinions, for it is impossible for a person to begin to learn what they think they already know” — Epictetus

I used to think I knew a lot. I didn’t.

I was close-minded, self-absorbed, and terrified to branch outside of my own little existence.

Combined with chronic anxiety and an overactive mind, this narrow view of the world steered me towards a life of addiction.

Blinded by my warped view of reality, this is where I stayed for 15 years.

I genuinely thought I had it all figured out. “Clever me” I used to think, defending my addiction with every trick in the book.

I thought I was fooling everyone, but I was only fooling myself.

I believed my own lies, weaving an imaginary world full of delusion, denial, and deceit.

In reality I knew nothing, nothing important anyway, and certainly nothing about the fundamental truths of life.

Sitting in detox in October 2013, this hit me hard. “You know nothing ye clown” echoed a voice from within. I’m not sure why, maybe the pain of my last dance with addiction; it was not pretty, but…