18 Tips I Wish I Understood Before I was 18
- Pain is not permanent. Emotion is a key element in being human. Laughter, crying, anger, happiness, pain and so on, are all a part of life. The key to understanding pain is knowing how to balance. Pain is necessary for growth and you will become stronger after you endure it. Pain will go away and you will come out on top.
- Your parents are learning for the first time just like you. I was the oldest child and something I didn’t realize until I was older is that my parents were parents for the first time, as I was a child for the first time and taking on the world. For the most part, your parents want what is best for you. Arguing with loved ones is a way of expressing love for those you do not want to see get hurt.
- School is not really that important. Take this from someone who missed 150+ days of high school — mostly because of illness — and took 7 weeks in his fall and another 7 in his spring semester off from college. School is not really that important AS LONG AS you are building merit, networking, and working towards your future. Either focus on school or build merit via projects, products, research, or whatever will get you where you need to go
4. Travel, travel and then travel again. Explore the world and experience different cultures. You will become more open-minded, enjoy parts of the world you never even knew existed, and meet cool people! Traveling is something I never really did growing up and now it is a defining part of who I am. Now I want to travel, way to go, Brendan.
5. Social media is wasteful. To me, social media has two purposes: showing off your life so others know how great you are and letting the world know you are still alive. I choose to focus on the latter. In high school, I used to post on Instagram all of my pictures with athletes and celebrities and people would freak out. They are people, just like you and I, relax. Spend your time with people that actually exist and spend time in the physical world.
6. Humility is crucial. Admit when you are wrong, understand you do not know everything and make a conscious effort to better yourself. When you can accept that you are human and make mistakes, your life will become a lot easier and you will experience exponential personal growth.
7. Life is a mental game. I have been hospitalized 10+ times and every time I come out stronger and more determined. While I sit there with an IV in my arm, lightheaded, restless, and struggling to stay afloat, I remember that the pain will be over soon. Last month I have a septoplasty and turbinate reduction surgery. Four days later I went to my ENT and essentially they vacuum your nose of all the blood clots and leftover crust. Your nose is numb and it is uncomfortable. My girlfriend watched and said, “Wow, that looked painless.” It was very uncomfortable. I stared at a wall, thought about ramen and before I knew it, the doctor was done.
8. Surround yourself with good people. Growing up I was more introverted than I am now and made a transition to public school for 7th grade. My friends kept me away from trouble and had my back, which made my life a whole lot easier. Surround yourself with positive people who challenge you to be better, respect your decisions, and make life a whole lot more enjoyable. These days I have a small, tight-knit group of friends, which is much better than a large group of acquaintances.
9. Get comfortable with public speaking. America’s biggest phobia — at 25.3% — is public speaking. When I was a young introvert I remember crying during a second-grade play in front of 1000+ people. That same year I came in 3rd at the science fair because I cried during my presentation. I became obsessed with getting better and know I have a weird obsession with public speaking and no fear. Last July I presented at Miller Lite Tap the Future’s Semi-Finals in front of Daymond John and 300+ attendees. I had no fear and was dancing before the show — it felt great. Remember: confidence is key
10. Networking is crucial. Whether or not you like it, who you know can accelerate your growth immensely. Know someone at a company that receives thousands of applicants? A referral will take care of that. Trying to get into your dream college? A professor can help. Want to cut the line at a restaurant? A waiter/waitress can help.
11. Go outside. One of my biggest fears of this current generation is the desire to be on a device at all times. Go outside and kick a soccer ball, play manhunt, or go for a swim. Being able to connect, compete, or enjoy each other’s company is essential for growth. Especially for children. This type of exposure will help a child learn how to build friendship, exercise for health, and burn off some of that pent off energy.
12. Fulfill your passion. Far too many people I know accept their current situation and state they will get out of it soon. How long is “Soon?” Stop accepting what you do not deserve, and chase after what you do. Life is about taking calculated risks. Devise a plan A, B, and C. If one doesn’t work, move to the next.
13. Failure is a part of life. Being a perfectionist is tough. Despite rarely caring about school, I also shot for a 93%. If I get a 93% and the perfectionist gets a 100%, we both get an “A.” This allowed me to add a realistic approach to my work, whereas I allowed a 7% failure rate in what work I produced and handed in. There were exams I got a 100% on, while others a 37% — still got a “B” in the class. Understand that failure leads to learning and learning leads to growth. Use failure as a lesson and push forward.
14. No one lives forever. No matter how hard you try, you will not live forever. Every day you are granted 86,400 seconds, use them wisely, because there is no guarantee tomorrow will come. Take action now or you will be full of regret later on.
15. Have a work-life balance. I spent the year after my graduation working 80+ hours, 7 days a week. It was terrible and led to health issues. Now, I work at a fast-growing startup, but I focus on working smarter versus harder. I am outputting more work in just over half the time. By allowing myself to recharge and have a life outside of work I am happier, healthier, and learning 10x faster — it also helps that I love my job ❤.
16. Plan things out, but add room for spontaneity. Plan out your day but allow certain hours to have room for unexpected events or shifting of events from another day. When my girlfriend and I last visited Rhode Island, we planned out 75% of our day and allowed 25% for spontaneity. We adventured on trips we did not expect and had a blast! The reason we planned so heavily is that we knew a lot of what we wanted to do and when you plan something the only thing you have to do is show up.
17. Get a mentor. No one should go through life alone. Having someone to be a sounding board for your ideas and plans is helpful. As with anything, don’t listen to everything you hear. Listen to what a mentor has to say, add your own thoughts, and make a decision — do research if you are still unclear. A mentor is almost like a therapist because they can help keep you sane.
18. Action > words. You can say you are doing something as often as you like, but until your words become action, they should not be taken fully seriously. “I’m going to start my own business!” Okay, then give it a shot and make it happen! If your words are not working, keep repeating it until it happens. My friends in college used to always joke about how I would say something repeatedly but not do it. A light example is how I always said I would make caprese, but never did. One day I went to Trader Joe’s and bought mozzarella cheese and balsamic vinegar and went into the dining hall to grab tomatoes and made the entire table caprese. Delicious.
If you want any tips: brendanbarbato@gmail.com
About the author: Northeast Marketing Manager at Lime, took a small family business from $50k to $1m in revenue in 3 years, have a failed startup under my belt (lot’s of lessons), winner of the MIT Global Entrepreneurship Bootcamp, Babson College ’17 graduate who lived in eTower (houses top 21 entrepreneurs on campus, alumni have raised $500m), partnered my startup with Microsoft while in school, Kairos and Forbes fellow, and played competitive Call of Duty in high school and led my team to six championships.
