27 lessons learned in my 27 years of life.
The most valuable lessons I’ve learned so far.
What better time to check in and reflect, than on a birthday.
Some people stop celebrating as they get older, but I think birthdays should be celebrated. I mean, c’mon they only happen once a year.
Not just with balloons and cake and shots of tequila with friends…although also fun, I mean a proper celebration. Celebrating that you made it to the benchmark of another year — you made it through alive. A solid reflection on what another year of life has brought you and what you’ve created for the world.
Because when else do you stop the constant grind and say “Wait…I’ve done a lot and been through a lot, and here’s who I’ve become as a result of that.”
So here’s my celebration.
27 life lessons
1. Your happiness is your responsibility.
Relying on others to make you happy is unsustainable. If you’re unhappy, figure out what brings you joy, and do more of that. No one can make you happy. They can help, but ultimately, it’s up to you.
2. Practicing self-care regularly is absolutely necessary.
Without a self-care routine, chaos is invited, and it’s easy to feel out of control. Get a self-care routine to ensure you are in good health — mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical.
3. Things will always work out.
If you want something, but the fear of failure stands in your way, know that the risk is worth it. Because in the end, everything will be ok.
4. It could hurt, but love is worth it.
The only way to experience ultimate love is to make yourself vulnerable to the possibility of ultimate hurt. The same goes for joy, happiness, and beyond. You might get lucky and not experience ultimate hurt, but you have to be willing to open yourself to the possibility. The greater the risk, the greater the reward.
5. Do YOUR best at whatever you do.
Always give your 100%. Even if you have to do grunt work, do it to the best of your ability. The habit of doing your best, regardless of what it is, will permeate to all other areas of life. Do your best, give it your all, and you’ll be rewarded for it in the end.
6. Be proactive about your self-value.
It’s called self-value. No one is going to give it to you. All the validation from all the people in the world will mean nothing if you don’t believe it for yourself. Actively do things to build your self value and grow your self-esteem. You’ll be a better version of yourself for the world to experience.
7. Confidence really is key.
It’s the key to attraction, opportunity, and success. If you don’t feel confident, act confident, learn what needs to be learned, do what needs to be done, until you become confident. Confidence can be developed. But don’t mistake it for cockiness or boastfulness. Confidence and humility can coexist.
8. Humility is a hard lesson to learn.
Especially if you’re unfamiliar with it. It’s unpredictable, but when it appears as a lesson you are meant to learn, it’ll be a tough pill to swallow. The way you recover from a lesson of humility will define your character moving forward.
9. Be kind.
Treat everyone you interact with with kindness. This is you doing your part to spread goodness in the world.
10. Appreciate fleeting moments.
They teach you a valuable lesson about being present and experiencing the world as part of your personal history. The combination of millions of fleeting moments give you the opportunity to create who you are. Be present to those moments. Each one is special.
11. Decide what you want to believe in and believe it — all-in.
This determines how much control you believe you have over your life.
12. Anytime you feel fear, do that which you fear.
You know that little feeling in your chest when you think about doing something that scares you? If you feel that, challenge yourself and do it. The growth you’ll experience is invaluable.
13. Most things you do in life are skills that can be improved.
If you think you’re bad at something, admit you’re bad at it, decide you want to improve, and start learning and practicing to become better.
14. Make space in your life for things you want.
That means letting go of things that aren’t serving you, sometimes without something else to immediately replace it. Sometimes you have to take the risk. Because no matter how badly you want something, if there’s no room for it in your life, you won’t get it.
15. Stop waiting for permission to be great.
You are awesome in your own way and the sooner you embrace that and create what you’re meant to create, the sooner you’ll be living out your purpose.
16. Have fun.
Do things that bring you joy. It’s good for your soul. And if it involves other people, it’s even better. Do things just for the hell of it. Add joy to the world.
17. If you’re unsure of what to do, just DO something.
Choose 1 thing you’re interested in a just start doing it. The action will get you moving and closer to where you want to go. Worried it’s not the right direction? Well, a rolling rock is easier to change directions than a stationary one.
18. If you want to get people’s attention, wear mirrored sunglasses.
Vanity is irresistible. I mean this in a figurative sense as well. Show interest in others.
19. No experience is a wasted experience.
If you can learn something from the experience, even if the lesson is to not do that particular thing again, it’s of value. Make every experience worth it in some way.
20. Practice gratitude every day.
It will change your life for the better. If you’re ever feeling shitty, think of what you’re grateful for, maybe tell someone about it, and watch your mood shift instantly.
21. Treat your parents with patience and kindness.
You won’t understand how much patience and kindness they needed to raise you until you have your own kids. But trust that it was way more than you have right now, and give a little more. Their love for you is unlimited.
22. Embrace your weird.
No one can do you better. Add your unique flavor to the world. People will appreciate you for it.
23. Your tribe might look different, and that’s ok.
Not everyone meets up with their group at MacLaren’s Pub every week. Not everyone lives out a season of Sex in the City. Not all friendships look the same and that’s okay. If you moved around a lot, your tribe might be dispersed, with most communication being digital. It’s still your tribe. Keep it close and nurture it. Love your tribe.
24. Expectations will always lead to some sort of disappointment.
Hope for the best, and expect nothing. Placing expectations on the actions or feelings of another person is setting yourself up for failure. You have no control of anyone but yourself. Go in with no expectations, and you’ll constantly be surprised.
25. Don’t kill yourself for your job.
Your company won’t be crying at your funeral. Your boss/company aren’t going to sacrifice themselves entirely for you, and you shouldn’t either. A job is just a job — an output of skill, an exercise of ability. Do your best, but that includes being your best. And there’s more to you than your job.
26. Emotional freedom is worth it.
Let go of any binds that keep you from having emotional freedom. If it’s something material, let it go. All material things can be replaced. If thoughts of bitterness and resentment are tied to memories of a person, replace them all with positive thoughts of that person. The hurt happened, it doesn’t have to keep happening. You deserve happiness.
27. Appreciate what you have while you still have it.
Metabolism. Energy. Naïveté. Ignorant bliss. It’s easy to take these things for granted as we go through the years. But it’s not until you get another year older, and realize you can’t keep up with the young chickens anymore that you realize how great you had it before.
Think of what you have in this moment. Learn to recognize, acknowledge and appreciate it all. Even if you’re not satisfied with what you have today, one day you might not even have that much. And you’ll wish you had what you’re taking for granted today.
I’m so grateful for all of the wonderful people who have come in and out my life. All of the experiences that have challenged me with lessons to learn, gifted me with extra I didn’t earn.
I’m truly celebrating this birthday — for another year of laughter, tears, heartache, love, obstacles, risks, accomplishments, perspective, and life lived.
Here’s to another year of lessons to be learned.
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