Go Ahead. Cut People Out Of Your Life.
But should you?
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“Sorry I was so negative last night” she said as we sat down at the table.
I didn’t really make eye contact.
I was annoyed, but I’ve learned there’s really a time and place for everything.
When I got up, I helped myself to more eggs and closed my eyes, letting a few positive thoughts bring a smile to my face. As I sat back down, I was smiling as I looked forward to diving into my precious, nutrient-rich meal.
“I really hated that girl”.
Around 2-3 months ago I made a choice.
The choice involved my own personal happiness. As much as I portrayed a joyful, extroverted young kid, I often didn’t feel like I was very happy at all.
I made some diet changes and other physical transformations. Working out, eating cleaner, getting more sleep. You know, the holistic life.
But there was still a big problem.
“Never finish a negative statement; reverse it immediately, and wonders will happen in your life.”
— Joseph Murphy, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind
I had no control over my mental energy.
While people like to say one aspect of our lives will improve every aspect of our lives, I’ve found this to be a major falsehood.
We don’t always realize happiness is a choice because nobody ever told us it was. We have been conditioned to believe happiness is not a state of being, but rather a personality trait or commodity received only after a consumer purchase.
When I first got into Minimalism, my mind was a bit blown.
And why wouldn’t it be? It was the first time somebody told me that the meaningless stuff in my life was exactly what it was: Just stuff.
Real meaning, it seems, is internal.
But along the way, some jerk tricked us to believe just the opposite.
And now I think most people are, quite frankly, full of sh*t. “We’re taught to work foolishly hard for a non-living entity, donating our most precious commodity — our time — for a paycheck.”
— Joshua Fields Millburn, Everything That Remains
Happiness can come from external factors. The salmon burger I had for lunch today makes me happy. The new belt I bought yesterday made me happy too, but we have to remember our happiness does not stem from receiving.
But we can’t just stop there, right?
People say you’re the result of the people you surround yourself with.
And I’m not sure I believed it before I started chopping people out of my life like Jigsaw (you know, from Saw).
Alright, maybe not like Jigsaw exactly, but I let go of relationships where I felt the energy was overwhelmingly negative. I can’t surround myself with negative comments all the time if I want to stay positive and empowered.
Yet there’s one big, hefty BUT I want to throw in here.
Nowadays, I still have some negative friends.
I still vent.
I can’t lie to you, there are ounces of negativity in my days and relationships. But they’ve evolved now. They’re so much more intricate and positive and empowered. I surround myself with people, places, energies and articles online where I don’t walk away feeling like crap.
And when I do have someone negative around me, I confront it a little more head on. Or maybe I take a little space. But I’m always more careful not to let them drag me to a negative head-space.
You deserve better than excess negativity in your life.
And you deserve to know happiness exists inside of you already.
So cut the bullsh*t.
But, you know, try not to be an axe murderer.