How Anybody Can Become Mentally Strong and Change Their Life
In the dead hours of the early morning, my phone alarm struck 5:30 AM.
I had been out the night before, drinking craft beers with friends during a Thursday evening happy hour — the one time every couple of weeks that I’ll enjoy some brews.
A few months ago, I would have turned my alarm off, set another one for 45 minutes later, and drifted back off to la-la-land.
But that time was different.
Sporting a headache and mild grogginess, I leapt out of bed, wrote for about an hour, then gathered my things and headed to the gym at work.
That was the hardest workout I had experienced in a long while, but it was also the most satisfying.
I’d spent the last few months grinding in the gym, trying to get my body back in shape after a minor injury. I know what a slippery slope missing a workout could be. Not wanting to let myself down, I chose to suck it up and do what I had to.
+10 points to mental toughness
If I can do it, anyone can
People become mentally strong the same way they become physically strong: through consistent practice.
You wouldn’t expect to walk into the gym your first time, pick up a few weights, then go back the next day throwing weight around like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
It takes consistently showing up for months — years — to develop that kind of physical strength.
The path to becoming mentally strong is no different.
Mental toughness is built over time through gradually increasing difficulty. It’s not something you need to be born with, either.
Anyone can do it.
Here’s what I’ve found works best:
Define what mental toughness means to you
What mental toughness means to me is going to be different than what it means to ultra-endurance runner David Goggins.
Just like a video game, there are levels in life.
You can’t — and should never — expect yourself to go out and run a 250-mile race with little to no training. It would be unrealistic to think you could set that goal and achieve it immediately. You’d be planning for failure.
In a recent podcast with Joe Rogan, even David admitted that it took most of his life to develop that degree of mental toughness.
That’s why you don’t start at Hard Mode right out the gates, you start at level 0 and work your way up.
“There is now…a Level 0.” — Master Shifu
Start Small
Let’s say I’m smarter than the average bear and define mental toughness appropriately, as it pertains to me and my capabilities. The ladder to the top — let’s say the 250-mile race — becomes very clear and manageable.
I could start at just 1 mile.
To David Goggins, that might seem like a joke. To someone who hasn’t run in 5 years, it seems like the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest.
Inevitably, after the first minute or so of running, I would feel myself wanting to quit. By the fifth minute, I’d guess that every fiber of my fiber would be screaming at me to quit.
But, by the time the ninth or tenth minute came around, and I had just completed my 1 mile goal, I would have achieved my mental toughness target for that run.
I could look back at my experience and think:
“Even though every fiber of my body wanted to quit, I kept pushing. It sucked, but I didn’t die, and now I feel awesome.”
+1 point to confidence
“Tomorrow, let’s see if I can do it again.
Then, if I can keep it up for the whole week, next week I’ll bump it up to 1.5 miles.”
+6 more points to confidence
With each small win, your self-confidence grows. And then you start building mental toughness, one rung of the ladder at a time.
Repetition is Key
Laziness is a son of a bitch.
In my experience with life so far, it doesn’t matter how much mental fortitude I’ve developed, the urge to want to be lazy never goes away. It’s a constant internal struggle.
It’s similar to the Resistance that author Steven Pressfield talks about in The War of Art.
In order to build mental toughness, you have to consistently beat that urge to be lazy.
Has anyone ever told you that abs are built in the kitchen? Or that looking shredded is 10% exercise and 90% diet?
Mental toughness is kind of like that.
It’s not enough to win the battle once or even every now and then. You have to do it over and over again.
Consistency is the key.
It’s about building your mental toughness muscle so that you always have the edge over laziness. It’s a slippery slope, and if you give in even once, you risk all progress.
One day turns into two, which turns into three…I think you know where I’m going with this.
We’ve all experienced taking on a new endeavor, crushing it for a week, then falling off a cliff the next.
That’s where small steps comes into play.
People who are mentally tough do what needs to be done, no matter what. By approaching your activities smaller than you think you can handle, you ensure that you show up. It’s easier to overcome that laziness.
+1 to mental toughness
Those first couple of steps are so important. Set goals that you know are a challenge but within reach.
You should never underestimate your biology’s overwhelming ability to conserve energy and want to do nothing.
Just Start
The most important thing about building mental toughness and changing your life?
Stop talking about it.
Stop reading about it.
Just get out there and do it.
Pick an activity to practice building your mental toughness, preferably something you enjoy, and go for it.
Don’t worry about not knowing everything before jumping in, you will learn 100x more about mental toughness by just starting.
Nothing can describe the feeling of every fiber in your body wanting to quit unless you’re out there running and it’s actually happening — your body and mind screaming at you to stop, the only thing keeping you going is your inner voice, helping you push pass those urges and reach your goal.
Want to develop the level of mental toughness that will change your life? Get off your butt and make it happen.
1,000 points to being a badass
Before you go…
I’m Jason Gutierrez. I try to write things that change people’s lives for the better. The Sunday Connection newsletter is where I share my life lessons and tips for healthy living. No bullshit. No spam. Just honest advice. Get updates here.
