How to Build Lasting Relationships
“What’s the world’s greatest lie?” the boy asked, completely surprised.
“It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.” — Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” –Thomas Aquinas
“Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got, ’til it’s gone.” –Joni Mitchell
To learn more about Stoic practices, listen to:
The Mission Daily Episode 39: Stoic Insights for Happier Relationships
To hear a deeper discussion of the topics discussed below, listen to:
The Mission Daily Episode 40: Debunking the World’s Greatest Lie
One of the Godfathers of logic and humanism was Aristotle. Two of the quotes attributed to him perfectly articulate the philosophy of meaningful relationships. These quotes are both relevant for deep friendships, as well as romantic relationships:
“Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
The lists, questions, and prompts below can be completed with or without a significant other.
How would we feel about losing what we love? This is the Stoic practice of mentally preparing for loss today, in order to care and value it properly today.
How does it feel to consider the future prospect of losing those you love?
1.
2.
3.
After hypothesizing about feelings from the future loss, what can we do today to better value our relationships? How can we effectively give the middle finger to fate, and all that we cannot control?
1.
2.
3.
Now, brainstorm 5 questions we can ask which demonstrate genuine curiosity. The aim is to try and work them naturally into conversation. These can be questions we don’t know the answers to, or have been meaning to ask for years.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Reflecting on Growth
A great quarterly exercise to help build satisfaction in our relationships is to list how we’ve grown together.
What are three things that, as a couple or friendship, we’ve achieved or have accomplished together?
1.
2.
3.
Remember: Everything we love will eventually be taken from us.
Curiosity + Growth = Contentment / Apatheia
Growth and curiosity aren’t always easy, and in the next episode of The Mission Daily, we’ll accelerate the growth and cover more ways to discover, find, and build better relationships.
