Get Out Of Your Head In 2 Simple Steps
Thoughts On Creative (and Life) Block
I felt creatively stagnant after a 6-week hiatus from writing.
What should I write about?
I started digging inside my head to find answers, but instead I got stuck in my own shit. I tried clawing my way out by looking deeper and deeper inside myself. It never works that way.
I was deep in a cranial hell of my own making.
And no wonder. All of my attention was on myself.
In a moment of desperation, I flipped the script: I asked for help.
Step 1: Ask for Help.
I asked for help in two ways.
First, via my newsletter, asking my humble following:
What would you like me to write/share/do more of here? What do you need help with in life/work/career that I might be able to shine light on?
Next, on Facebook via this post:
Between the Facebook post and newsletter, about 50 questions came back. Whereas usually I have a monkey of a time figuring out what to write about and where to start, my writing flowed quickly and easily. The simplicity of responding each person, shining a little light or relieving a little pain for them, was hugely liberating.
I reached out for help and showed up to serve. The questions that came back became a mirror to how others thought I might be able to help them.
My writing output skyrocketed. I wrote the equivalent of 10 blog posts in 5 days. Far more writing than I’d done in a long, long time.
I forgot that writing isn’t a talking-focused art, but a listening-focused one.
That was step 1.
Step 2: Help 1 Very Specific Person.
There’s a single secret weapon for writers struggling to write, one that’s been passed down from generation to generation, from scribe to scribe:
Write to 1 very specific person.
The same goes for us, wherever we’re blocked in our life:
Help 1 very specific person.
By this, I mean help Chuck or Mary or Claudia or Luis.
Not just some marketing persona you named “Chuck” or “Mary.”
I’m talking about your cousin Chuck and your old high school friend Mary. Your new friend Claudia. That random guy Luis you met in Lisbon at the airport and somehow ended up Facebook friends.
Help them.
You might not be able to directly help them, but maybe you know someone who can. Or maybe there’s a TED talk that might help. Or an article you once read. Or a quote or a story that might help.
When I asked for help, the hesitation I had about “showing up” and sharing my writing dissolved. It became less about me, and more about helping my friends.
In helping 1 specific person, I shifted from a self-focused to service-focused.
If you’re struggling to “put yourself out there” or feeling stuck and self-conscious about your work, here’s a thought:
What if putting yourself out there — on social media, in your work, in life — was less about you and more about people in pain around you?
Pain is a big word. It could be acute or a little niggle. Either way, you can help.
When you give, your courage is magnified. You become less self-conscious. Because it’s not about you any more.
There’s a mantra in the startup/investor world:
“Ask for money, get advice. Ask for advice, get money.”
The same goes for us. By asking for help or sharing where you’re struggling, you’ll indirectly achieve your goals.
To get out of your own head, help someone get out of theirs.
