How to Keep Bad Habits from Controlling Your Life
Turn off autopilot and live on purpose
Do you control your habits, or do they control you?
I am staring at my alarm clock. It’s 4:30am. I have my routine planned and ready to go.
4:30am- Exercise
5:00am- Prayer and Bible Reading
5:45am- Write and Work on Website
I am on a tight schedule, because once I hear my kids’ little feet hit the floor (around 6:30am), there is no more morning routine for me.
I’m still staring at the clock, but my body isn’t moving. Unfortunately, the habit of staying up late has already dictated what my morning will be like.
Instead of getting up, I turn off the alarm and go back to sleep, unable to break the spell of my pillow. I am on autopilot against my will.
Again I ask the question: Do you control your habits, or do they control you? If I’m not careful, control of my life can sneak away from me. Our lives are built from the mortar of habits, and not just our present lives, but our future lives as well.
It’s time to take control back. It’s time to own our habits.
Steps to Owning Your Habits:
Step 1: Identify the bad autopilot
I remember a time when I would daily stroll down to the school office. I would go in, waste time talking with fellow teachers, and slowly make my way to the “Any food on this table is up for grabs” area of the office.
My body was on autopilot as I would grab a brownie and shove it in my mouth continuing the conversation as if it were no big deal. “Ohh there are cookies too!?!?” I would gasp. “One little cookie won’t hurt.”
But it wasn’t just ONE cookie, it was multiple desserts a day. Without even trying, I had formed a habit of eating junk food in the school office. My body had steered me mindlessly to a full-on sugar addiction. I realized my problem once my body starting responding with constant sickness, but it was too late. It took me months to get back to health.
To break the habit, you have to realize that it exists and identify it quickly.
Action step: Don’t wait until it’s too late. Write down areas where you consistently act without thinking. Where have habits taken control of your life?
Step 2: Exchange the bad habit with a better one.
It’s not enough to say “no” to a bad habit. If you just put limitations on your life, you will feel trapped. You need to run towards something, not away from everything.
Action Step: After you have written down your bad habits, write a new habit that can replace the old one.
Step 3: Make your new habit enjoyable.
The dentist told me that I needed to brush my teeth for two minutes, twice a day. Two minutes may not seem like a long time when you are watching Netflix, but when brushing your teeth, it feels like an eternity. My typical routine had been to brush vigorously for 10 seconds and be done. But my dentist visits had become increasingly more painful due to my brushing hastiness.
I needed a solution to form a new habit. I needed a system.
I took my floss and my toothbrush, and I put them in the shower (you probably can see where this is going). I hate wasting time brushing my teeth but don’t mind wasting time standing under warm water.
I went and bought a $0.88 kitchen timer from Walmart and stuck it to the wall of the shower. While I took my shower, I brushed and flossed.
After a month, I was already brushing my teeth for two minutes easily without a timer. It seemed like a small victory, but it shook me. In an area of my life where I had been unsuccessful for years, I now had built a healthy habit simply by adjusting my environment and making it enjoyable.
I applied the same concept with exercise. Before I had been unsuccessful in exercise, but now in the mornings when I wake up, I use that time to watch Netflix (I’m currently addicted to Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee) while I exercise. The idea of waking up and exercising was horrifying. The idea of waking up and watching Netflix was enjoyable.
Action Step: Create a system that makes your habit enjoyable.
Step 4: Make your habit about community.
To make your habit about community, you need to ask yourself “What system can I create to tie my habit to other people or their expectations of me?”
My house used to be a wreck. When people would come over, I would have to apologize for how dirty my house looked. Frankly, it was embarrassing. In the south where I live, most people would say, “Oh you should see my house. It’s worse!”
We are good at bending details in the south.
The embarrassment was too much, I had to create a system where I could clean every day. So I grabbed my phone and began to set timers.
I would clean the kitchen for 20 minutes, clean the living room for 20 minutes and clean papers on my desk for 20 minutes. I made it enjoyable by listening to audio books, and I made it about community because a babysitter comes to my house once a week. I didn’t want to have to apologize for the way my living room looked. I knew I needed the house clean before she came to take care of my kids. She was my house cleaning supervisor, and she didn’t even know it.
Action step: Re-frame your habit so that it focuses on others or their expectations of you. Create accountability for your habit.
Step 5: Make your habit efficient.
Lastly, you need to make your habit efficient. This requires trial, error, and assessment.
You need to make a system of evaluation for your habits. I typically use Sundays as a day to look over habits that I have been trying to form. Have I been successful or not? Can I tweak the habit to make it more time efficient and effective? What systems can I put in place to make my habit more likely to succeed?
Action Step: Choose a day once a week and write down your habits. What is working? What is not? Is your life heading the direction you want it to go? What new habits can you put in place to get back on course?
Conclusion
By following these steps, I have made huge strides in my life. I’m no longer embarrassed about who comes into my house because it is usually clean, I kicked my sugar addiction to the curb, and had my best dentist visit ever this year. My life is far from perfect, but at least I am taking back the control.
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