How To Stop Sucking and Become The BEST Version of Your Self
How To Be a YOU You’re proud of…

I once asked my husband Jonathan Chew that age-old question,
“Honey, what’s the meaning of life?”
His reply?
“I think it’s really all about one thing. One thing only. We have to learn to become the best version of ourselves…”
Ahhh. Life would be kind of meaningless without growth, without learning, without setting goals.
Without bettering ourselves and others, we’d simply be unchanging blobs of consumerism and waste…
We would really suck.
Stop Consuming. Start Doing.
“We no longer live life. We consume it.” ― Vicki Robin
Have you ever had one of those days?
…You know which ones I’m talking about…
You slip into your comfiest of sweatpants, order a pizza, and lounge on the couch for the day, watching reruns of shows on Netflix…
Don’t get me wrong, in small doses, days like this can be a clean break and a well-needed rest from our routines.
But I would argue that we never really feel good after a day like this, at least not in the same way as it feels to graduate top of our class, or help out a friend in need…
Why?
Because I believe humans weren’t meant to be consumers.
Humans were meant to be doers. They were meant to be achievers. They were meant to be learners and growers and helpers.
They were meant to be more than just blobs.
Set Goals that Focus on Growth, Not Outcome
Want to know the real destination of our goals, the real result we get from them?
It’s not about the things we obtain, it’s about the journey we go on!
Tony Robbins argues that we don’t really pursue goals to get things, we pursue goals to get a better version of ourselves…
“The only reason we really pursue goals is to cause ourselves to expand and grow. Achieving goals by themselves will never make us happy in the long term; it’s who you become, as you overcome the obstacles necessary to achieve your goals, that can give you the deepest and most long-lasting sense of fulfillment.” — Tony Robbins
Tony Robbins often tells people to try and set goals that focus on purpose rather than outcome. For example:
The goal to make a million dollars
will never be as fulfilling to us as:
The goal to be financially free
What we can really take with us, wherever we go, no matter what happens to us, is what we’ve learned, who we’ve become.
We may as well start becoming the best version of ourselves now…
And at the end of the day, there will always be deadlines we have to meet, there will be things we want to obtain, but if we enjoy the journey in our goals, we’ll get more purpose out of them that way as well!
Surround Yourself with People you Want to be Like
“People can poison people; people can also promote people. People can push people up; people can also pull people down. Don’t just follow people cheerfully; follow people carefully!”
― Israelmore Ayivor
Have you heard it before? I know I have:
We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.
If you don’t have 5 great people to be around physically in your life, there are so many other ways and resources to spend time with the greats!
It’s never too late to pick up a biography, or watch a TED talk, or read an interview involving the person you look up to!
When we start to mirror successful people’s patterns and attitudes, they become our own. When we surround ourselves with the people we want to be like, we naturally become like them.
And it works the other way around too…
In her book Profit From The Positive, Margaret Greenberg goes on to explain this more with something called Social Contagion Theory — which basically explains that emotions circulate!
Humans are hardwired to mimic each other (in facial expressions, in mood, in every kind of behavior.) That’s why something like a bad mood can seem to spread like a plague…
We have to be careful. We have to cheat the system. We have to overcome this.
The best part?
We can surround ourselves with the people we want to be like. We can find the people who have already solved the problems that we have now.
It works on a subconscious level. We simply surround to become.
“The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us to become the best version of ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help to make them great.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose
Do Things For You. Not your Newsfeed.
In his book Happiness: Lessons from a New Science, Richard Layard talks about how a lot of people in the world have never had it better than they have it now. The average income has double in the US since the 1950s…but happiness has not.
We have more depression, more alcohol consumption, more suicide, etc…
“External effects are everywhere. Almost every major transaction we make affects other people who are not a party to the transaction. When someone buys a Lexus, he sets a new standard for the street. When a firm advertises a Barbie doll, it creates a want that was not there before.”
― Richard Layard, Happiness: Lessons from a New Science
Unfortunately these external effects are incredibly magnified even more with our digital presence and social media nowadays.
Everyone is next door. Everyone is on our same street. The pressure is on.
When it comes to social media, not only is there a pressure to post, but there’s also a pressure to keep up with the Joneses, who just did this or just went there…
When we buy into this idea, we seek to replicate only the shiny parts of someone’s life, not the reality.
It’s as if we’re looking at a Photoshopped picture of someone in a magazine and expecting our bodies to look the same way.
We do this with our daily lives, our daily actions, and it’s killing us…
Be Unapologetically YOU
“ Don’t dilute yourself for any person or any reason. You are enough! Be unapologetically you.”
— Steve Mariboli
Never be ashamed. Never think you’re not enough…
By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.
In her book You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life Jen Sincero tells us,
“Your life is your party. You get to choose how you invite people and experiences and things into it.”
It’s your life! No one can live it but you!
Sincero goes on to name a few more things we can do to make our life the best party for ourselves, how we can embrace our own inner badass:
- Stop caring what others think, that’s the only way you can find your own path!
- Become a lifelong learner. Always approach problems like a learner, not an expert (then mistakes will no longer be frightening, but rather a welcome part of the journey)
- Express gratitude daily. It’s not just about being polite. It’s about creating a state of being!
- Forgive yourself and others. That’s the only way to move forward.
“You are magic. Don’t ever apologize for the fire within you.”
— Unknown
It’s Never Too Late…
“Once upon a time, began the story of you.
Many perilous, wonderful, harrowing, brilliant, delightful, profound things happened.
And yet — the most exciting twists and best turns are yet to come. And it absolutely does not matter how old or young you are.
Like a bright carpet of wonders, enjoy the unrolling of your story.”
— Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
Call To Action
As Maya Angelou once said,
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
There’s a difference between surviving and thriving in life. To become the best version of yourself is to go on a lifelong journey. One filled with growth, learning, and hope…
As long as you’re moving forward, even if it’s in baby steps, that means you’re growing. You’re living. You’re one step closer to becoming the best version of yourself.
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