It’s Not What Happens To You That Matters, But How You Respond To It

Tony Fahkry
May 23 · 4 min read

It’s Not What Happens To You

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” — Stephen Covey

It is not what happens to you that matters but how you respond to it that shapes your future. We’ve all had bad things happen, some more than others, yet that doesn’t diminish the events of the past. Perhaps you retreated into yourself to find solace and meaning on why the events took place.

Stop! Stop trying to make sense of what happened because we spend unnecessary mental and emotional energy trying to figure out life. To rationalise life logically is a battle we seldom win.

What makes me certain of this you ask? Having coached hundreds of people over the past decade and through my own ordeals, I’ve come to realise that making sense of what happens is a futile battle that only results in pain and disappointment.

The mental and emotional energy is better spent trying to find solutions instead of contextualising its meaning. Can you relate to this or at least be willing to change the way in which you respond to your ordeals?

Life is not what happens to us, but how we respond and grow from the experiences that shapes our destiny. Does this make sense that you are not what happens to you but who you become because of it? The events of the past took place based on your level of awareness.

Put simply, if you want to do large-scale renderings using the latest Adobe Illustrator program on an 80’s built computer, the program will require more resources than what the computer can process. However, if you upgrade your hardware, it can perform these functions easier. Our troubles and disappointments occur because our level of awareness does not match the experience taking place.

So if our significant other breaks up with us, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us, only our growth at the time was not a match to maintain the relationship. If we lose our job or our health suffers, it is because our level of consciousness is not at the level to sustain those things.

A popular aphorism states: “To grow thyself, know thyself.” As we grow in consciousness, we develop the ability to give more of ourselves and attract circumstances consistent with our level of consciousness.

It is why the rich and wealthy are; rich and wealthy. They’ve develop a wealth and prosperity consciousness owing to years of self-improvement and personal growth.

It is why those who are fit and healthy maintain healthy lives because they’ve developed a consciousness to sustain that way of being. And this is a very important principle because if we improve ourselves, we undoubtedly see the results manifest in our lives.

I hope this idea resonates with you because it is important if you want to overcome feeling trapped in your circumstances. The message is that nothing happens to us which we don’t allow, irrespective of whether we are conscious or unconscious of it. The latter is problematic because if we are oblivious to our motives, we make automated decisions not congruent with our greater self.

Considering this, I invite you to reflect on your own life, particularly the past. Have there been times when your career, health or relationships suffered because of what you were certain of? I recall more than a dozen examples of what I knew with certainty, was incomplete.

Often, what we think we know about life can lead us down a trail of self-destruction. It is when we let go of preconceived ideas of how life should be that we experience life becoming itself. Life knows what it needs to become and if we are attached to how it should unfold, we limit its potential to occur.

It is in releasing and renewing that we discover the essence of our life’s narrative. The lesson here is that your circumstances whether past or present do not make up who you are, but adds a narrative to who you will become. This, my friends, determines the future you’re destined to live.

Call To Action

A network of business & tech podcasts designed to…

Mission Daily Newsletter

Create a free Medium account to get Mission Daily in your inbox.

Tony Fahkry

Written by

Self-empowerment Author, Expert Speaker and Coach. Your Journey Towards Greatness Starts Here:

A network of business & tech podcasts designed to accelerate learning. Selected as “Best of 2018” by Apple.

Tony Fahkry

Written by

Self-empowerment Author, Expert Speaker and Coach. Your Journey Towards Greatness Starts Here:

A network of business & tech podcasts designed to accelerate learning. Selected as “Best of 2018” by Apple.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store