Laid off? 10 Steps to Manage Post-Redundancy Blues
Being let go from your company sucks. Here’s how to heal.
I am back in a position where I need to (again) rethink my career direction. I need some help, some guidance and advice. I feel I need to regain a sense of direction and confidence. Can you help…?
“You’re grieving” I told her, as she blinked back tears.
We sat inside the cafe, drinking coffee and discussing next steps like old friends. Yet, it was the first time Amy* and I had met in over two years. The interaction started like so many others when forced by redundancy; with questions.
“I’m unsure of my next steps. I don’t know what to do with my life. I’ve lost my confidence.”
Each time I speak with someone in this space, I’m reminded of how private and personal being let go can be. I can feel the loss of identity, trust, self-belief, and the pain of business left unfinished. Cast aside mid-flow and powerless.
“I worked very hard, for nearly 3 years” she confided. “It was chaos and yet I cared so much. Now I’ve been made redundant. They let me go. With nothing, hardly even a thank you.”
Just the word itself redundant, is cutting and harsh when you look at the definition: ‘no longer needed or useful; superfluous.’ The loss of confidence that comes with the notion of being redundant can be debilitating, especially if it was a role you spent years working on. Regardless of whether you loved it or not, you were invested, and now you don’t have a choice.
You may find yourself compelled to get back on the horse and begin job hunting in earnest. You may also find yourself lost and adrift, face-to-face with those big questions; if not this then what? Am I still valuable? What should I do next?
Part of the human condition is to wrestle with this beautiful, fragile dance between our ego and our internal sense of self-worth. So intricate is the web that tells us we need to be externally validated to feel of use, to feel worthy, capable and confident, that even such a thing as losing our job is enough for it to fall apart. But, you are not just losing your job. You are losing your role in society, your ability to contribute meaningfully and your purpose day-to-day.
This is why you are grieving.
My old friend sat there, telling me about how she felt she should be moving on already. But that her lack of clarity on her direction, her exhaustion and lack of love for her industry was making it hard to focus her efforts.
She was just not ready to move on. Contrary to the advice that might come from a traditional recruiter I asked her to take some time out. I told her that she was hurting and before starting out afresh she should give herself some space.
“There will always be another job for you. You’ll never, years from now, die at the age of 105 having never worked again. But you may not have the luxury of being paid to think, to feel, to heal. So take it. Gift it to yourself.” I told her.
10 Steps to Manage Post-Redundancy Blues:
1.Take Time Off.
Take 2/3 weeks or even a month to recover and fall back in love with your job hunt. You’re being paid to take time out. So take it.
2. Stop Thinking About Them.
Give yourself a break from other people’s expectations. Your time out and/or your redundancy in proper practice, will not form a hiring bias. If you suspect it is causing problems then volunteer for a cause your care about and help yourself fill the gap. (Also, question whether it is really worth it to work for a company where such a bias might exist.)
3. Get Perspective.
Email 5 close friends and ask them what they think you’re awesome at, what they wish you’d try, what they want for you in your next career move. Get them to send you their answers and sit with them.
4. Get Proof.
You might begin to question your skills and value, so remind yourself what you’re good at. Email 3 colleagues who you’ve worked with and ask for one example of a project/moment where you really excelled. Ask them to share what happened and what about you made it a success? Build up your repository of good times that yes you can do the thing, and soon you’ll believe it again.
5. Get Closure.
Write down all the things you did really well in your last role and then bask in them for a while. You could even write a letter to your boss/manager/HR team asking for a private exit-interview if you feel there are some things left unsaid.
6. Get Advice.
Write a letter to current you, from future you and tell yourself how you made it through this patch and what you’d wished you’d known at the time. Give yourself some advice and some kudos. You’ll be surprised at how much perspective this can give you.
7. Get Outside (your head).
Take a long walk in nature. Book an Airbnb in the Cotswolds and rent a car, leave wherever you live and work and take a solo weekend trip. Spending time in nature is the best way to clear your head, work through things and remind yourself of the timelessness of the world.
8. Own It.
When you’ve healed, you’ve grown. There is nothing more attractive than someone who has taken the time to transform themselves and has energy for their next project. Create a narrative that empowers you and share it.
9. Begin to Look Forward.
Now you have the space take a moment to get back in touch with all things you love. Not because you can turn them into a job right away, but simply because you love them. What might your ideal day look like? What cause do you really care about contributing to? Create a map of possibilities and explore options that feel good.
10. Invest in Yourself.
Now could be a good time to do that full-time course, to take that trip, to learn a new skill or volunteer. If you are on gardening leave, use it as learning-leave. Learn how to do something creative, crafty or challenging physically. Learn to code, learn about digital marketing or build a website. Being back in the classroom and getting better at something you didn’t think you could do is a great way to regain confidence, build new skills and make new friends.
My friend Amy messaged me a week later to say she was diving and sunbathing on a warm, sunny beach in South America. And that she didn’t regret a second of it.
To find direction in your life and career you need to trust yourself. That is impossible when you are still rebounding from your ex-job because your thoughts and feelings are clouding your judgement. Take the time to find genuine clarity and do things that make you feel good.
“How people treat you is their Karma; how you react is yours.
— Wayne Dyer
Your career is one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have. What can you do to make sure it is balanced and healthy? You can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond.
Have faith that you can rely on yourself to get through this moment. And that in itself, is the definition of confidence.
Thank you for reading.
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Stay in touch and connect with me here.
In London at Escape The City.
If you have any thoughts, would like me to answer specific job-hunting questions or explore being coached through your job-hunt, Linkedin or tweet me @mellyndaniamh.
Amy’s* name has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.
