Teasing Makes Us Human
In Defense Of Teasing
“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” — E. E. cummings
Food For Thought
Teasing Makes Us Human
Human communication is built on a fusion of shared history and influence, cultural stereotypes, vocal inflection, and subtle physical and facial cues.
Impressively, our brain is able to soak in this complex mix of signals, interpret them, and respond at baffling speed. In less than a second, your brain is able to read a room, understand a stranger’s emotional state, or know exactly what your partner is thinking.
One of the more complex ways that humans communicate is through teasing.
Teasing has gained a bad rap lately because it is often used interchangeably with “bullying.” Teasing is not bullying. Rather, it’s a playful, healthy way that humans can grow closer and test boundaries.
As shared in the article, Why Affectionate Teasing is Kind and Necessary:
“When we enjoy being warmly teased, it’s because the teasing remark emerges from a genuine insight into who we are. This person has studied us and put their finger on a struggle that’s going on in us; they’ve taken the part of a nice — but currently under-supported — side of who we are. It’s pleasing because normally others don’t see much past the front we put on for the world. Typically, the world just thinks we are gloomy, or stern, or intellectual, or obsessed by fashion. The teaser does us the favour of recognising that the dominant front isn’t telling the whole story; they’re kind enough and perceptive enough to see past the surface.”
Teasing points out a trait about who you are that you may hide, be embarrassed of, or are even unaware of. To be teased in a constructive way, means that someone is paying more than surface-level attention to you.
According to Dr. Diana Fleischman, who joined us on today’s Mission Daily episode, “humor allows you to tell people difficult truths.”
The joke may sting at first, but it can help you uncover truths about yourself and draw you closer to the teaser.
Here are a few benefits of teasing:
- Learning to respond positively to playful teasing can help you build resilience against true bullying.
- Teasing lets you test and create healthy boundaries between yourself and those you care about.
- Teasing allows you to put on a playful mask that helps you navigate tough or awkward social situations.
- Teasing is a way to flirt and build new relationships.
- When harsh criticisms have to be made or tough subjects discussed, teasing can lighten the mood or ease the blow.
- Perhaps most importantly, it deepens existing relationships and builds trust in new ones. In a world where people often feel isolated or divided, teasing creates a bridge between strangers.
There are many social benefits of healthy teasing, but as a culture, our overcorrection of bullying is slowly pushing teasing out of our interactions. There is a fine line between tasteful jokes and hurtful bullying, but just because the line is fine, doesn’t mean we should strive to completely eliminate teasing.
If we reject teasing altogether, we may lose a vital part of our identity as humans and a critical way that we build deep, meaningful connections.
Mission Daily
Minimizing Your Suffering Footprint With Dr. Diana Fleischman
Dr. Diana Fleischman has been obsessed with evolution since she was a little girl. Today, she is a leading researcher in the field of evolutionary psychology, a soon-to-be author, and a force in the effective altruism movement.
In addition to discussing the social value of teasing, Chad and Dr. Fleischman also talk about her research, how the EA movement is redefining animal suffering, and how you can minimize your suffering footprint.
Deep Dive
In Defense of Teasing
“The reason teasing is viewed as inherently damaging is that it is too often confused with bullying. But bullying is something different; it’s aggression, pure and simple. Bullies steal, punch, kick, harass and humiliate. Sexual harassers grope, leer and make crude, often threatening passes. They’re pretty ineffectual flirts. By contrast, teasing is a mode of play, no doubt with a sharp edge, in which we provoke to negotiate life’s ambiguities and conflicts. And it is essential to making us fully human.”
Further Reading
How The Mind Works
“Some people think that evolutionary psychology claims to have discovered that human nature is selfish and wicked. But they are flattering the researchers and anyone who would claim to have discovered the opposite. No one needs a scientist to measure whether humans are prone to knavery. The question has been answered in the history books, the newspapers, the ethnographic record, and the letters to Ann Landers. But people treat it like an open question, as if someday science might discover that it’s all a bad dream and we will wake up to find that it is human nature to love one another.” ― Steven Pinker
Read: How the Mind Works by Steven Pinker
#WhatWeAreListeningTo
Who Let The Elephants Out?
Cage the Elephant just dropped some new tunes…. 🎉 🎶 🎶
Their EP features Goodbye, Ready To Let Go, Night Running, and House of Glass. We highly recommend checking out all four. 😉
Sign Off 👋
Happy Wednesday!
How are you enjoying our Past, Present, Future theme? Let us know on Twitter 👉@TheMissionHQ.
We’ll see you back here tomorrow! 🚀
This was originally published on April 10, 2019 as The Mission’s daily newsletter. To subscribe, go here.
About Us
Mission.org is a new kind of media company. We publish stories, videos, and podcasts to help smart people get smarter.
Custom Podcasts
Mission.org helps mission-driven companies build trust and connect with customers in a new way. We create custom podcast sponsorships for enterprise companies. To learn more about why companies like Salesforce trust us to produce results, connect with our team here.
