The Amazing Benefits of Super-Mediocrity
I used to think nothing bad could happen to me. This was confirmed repeatedly when I was a kid by my parents and teachers and, when forced to, my friends.
Then one day I failed all of my finals my first semester of graduate school. I was no longer the golden child. The cowboy genius.
Another day, a few years later, I cheated on a girl who wanted to marry me. And yet another day, I started a business while working at a full-time job, sometimes doing projects for their competitors.
My parents crying, “I can’t believe you’re our son.”
At some point I had to make a decision — am I a bad guy or a good guy?
I was afraid I was a bad guy. Confirmed later when I couldn’t support my family. Or when I started to hide from my friends.
Because I was in a prison of shame, more and more bad things happened to me.
Now I don’t know. Now it doesn’t matter. I like to sit down and do nothing. That’s my (almost) favorite activity in the world. Sometimes Claudia is sitting there with me also. I don’t mind that.
I like to be with my kids.
70% of the time it’s because I love them. And probably 30% of the time it’s because I don’t want them to think I’m a bad father. That will save them money on future therapy bills.
Therapy being the one time you go to a doctor and you’re never really supposed to be cured.
Sometimes I judge others I see on the street. I think, “I don’t want to grow up and be like them”. And then I realize I’m already older them and probably worse.
But the person I judge the most is myself. All day long in my head, the chatter.
I think the first step towards some sort of self-awareness is when you realize that voice is going non-stop.
I think of this when people tell me they are a good judge of character. Almost everyone says they are a good judge of character.
How can everyone be above average at this critical skill for life survival? At least half people must be below average.
Similarly, in polls, 9 out 10 people think they are above average drivers.
So clearly, self-delusion is good protection against mediocrity.
Maybe the second step of self-awareness is to simply stop paying attention to that voice that is judging you.
But it never seems to stop. Maybe 80% of the time it’s judging me and 20% judging others.
Or it might be thinking of a conversation with my parents that happened 20 years ago. They were wrong!
Then it goes back to the present day, the conversation with the boss earlier. Or the co-worker. Or the girl at the store. The one with the nice eyes.
The pre-frontal cortex evolved to help us adapt to new environments. It makes us smart so that we can reason out decisions when we are in an uncertain environment.
But somewhere along the way we let it take over and run awry. “I’m a bad person,” it might tell me at three in the morning.
It might torture me until I cry. How did I end up here?
It might remind me of all the times I was fired. I could see all of their faces. Every boss firing me in anger: Bryan, Erik, Jim, Victor, etc. BAD!
Or precisely 30 years to the day before I die it might remind me of that urgent email to something-something we have to return OR ELSE.
Or why did I say X at the dinner? Now everyone will think I’m boring. Or even worse — irrelevant.
I’m horrible at group dinners. Everyone is so witty and challenging and I just sit there.
I have made a habit out of mediocrity.
There’s the saying, “stand next to the smartest person in the room”. The flip side of that is to make sure you’re never the smartest person in the room.
I also don’t want to be the best at whatever I do. I’d rather steal from the best. Then I have more confidence I’m doing the right thing.
Anyway, I’m mediocre and proud. And I use it to my advantage to occasionally get good stuff done.
If I ever find myself above-average again I’m very fortunate that at the very least I have my inner voice. Telling me, “ease up, soldier, things are not so simple. What you did yesterday was pretty atrocious.”
Ok. But we’ll all be equal when our ashes spread like dust in a breeze. The breeze kisses all the ashes no matter what we did.
And until then, I get to go to sleep early and let everyone else rule the world. All of you who passed the finals and were blessed with blue eyes.
The author also wrote about the Three Stories About Hate. Read more from the author… James Altucher, an entrepreneur, investor and best-selling author of “Choose Yourself” and “Choose Yourself Guide To Wealth”. He openly discusses the financial and emotional impact of making (and losing) money in his personal blog at JamesAltucher.com.
