The Andre Agassi way to find your writing voice and connect deeply with your readers
Talent alone cannot make a writer. There must be a man behind the book. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Finding our authentic voice in writing helps us connect with our readers - just as we connect to the people in our daily lives.
But what is a writing voice and why is it so tough to find? How do we find our voice?
The way we write has a tone. Just like the way we speak.
It could be authoritative, formal, and dry.
It could be gentle, informal, and honest.
Or perhaps compelling, creative, and humble.
In his autobiography Open, tennis great, Andre Agassi shares intimate details about his life in tennis. He had trouble finding his voice as a tennis player — and as a person.
His experiences can give us valuable tips on how to find our own writing voice and connect with our readers.
Who else has trouble finding their voice?
Agassi had trouble finding his voice for most of his tennis career.
He wore denim shorts and a frosted mullet. He swore and let his frustrations out on court often.
The media saw him as a punk. A clown. A fraud. A fluke.
They thought he wanted to stand out. But he explained “I’m trying to hide.”
“If I had time, if I were more self-aware, I would tell journalists I’m trying to figure out who I am, but in the meantime I have a pretty good idea of who I’m not...
I’m not a showman simply because I come from Vegas and wear loud clothes…
I’m not a punk rocker.”
When I write for copy for small business clients, I write with their voice. Not mine.
Writing for corporates, universities, not-for-profits, or professional membership organisations require different tones. These could be pre-determined by styleguides, content format — or by a manager’s habit.
So when I started writing outside work, I had no idea how to write with my own voice.
Urgh! I had a tough time. I swayed, fumbled, and spewed out crap that left a bad taste in my mouth. Like the morning after a big night out.
It’s easy to blabber out a list of ways to do this or that. Or quote this person or that person with bits of factual, bland fillers in between.
But I realized there’s a crapload of generic writing out there. Writing that doesn’t sound like anyone. Writing that sounds robotic.
It made me think:
What makes the difference between blah and brilliant writing?
What attracts us to one writer more than another?
It’s more than whether they have a journalism degree.
It’s more than whether they’ve written a bestselling book.
It’s more than how well they stick to grammar rules.
I reckon it comes down to this:
Who do you like and trust?
Agassi was starstruck when he met tennis legends during his career. People he looked up to while he was growing up — and as peers.
People like Jimmy Connors. Pete Sampras. And Boris Becker.
Yet as he encountered them on tour, not putting on a performance, he found out what they were really like.
They were rude.
Snobby.
Nasty.
He was shocked and disappointed to find out.
So no matter how talented they were, or how much the media and public loved them, Agassi couldn’t like them.
Think about the people you like. Why do you like them?
Is it because of what they know and what qualifications they have?
It is because of what job they had last?
Is it because of how much money they have?
Or because you actually like them as a person?
They give rather than just take take take.
They speak to you on your wavelength.
They empathise with your day.
They make you laugh.
They make you think.
They care about you.
They inspire you.
They are honest.
They follow through.
You trust them…
Sometimes it’s confusing. We think we should like someone…
But when we dig deep down, we realize we actually don’t like them at all.
Well, it’s the same with writing.
That’s why it’s so important we identify our voice — and write consistently in that voice. So readers hear the real you.
If they decide they like and trust you, they’ll be more receptive to your message.
Not sure what your writing voice is?
No worries. Let’s explore 4 ways with practical to-dos to find your authentic writing voice.
4 Ingredients to create your authentic writing voice
To help you form a strong writing voice, we’ll look at 4 main ingredients:
- Tone
- Interests
- Experiences
- Expressions
When you combine these, your personality and unique voice will shine through your writing.
1. Tone
Agassi didn’t know what tone he was conveying to the public during his career. He didn’t plan to come across as a punk.
But the media portrayed him as one.
Yet later, as he stumbled his way through life and tennis — when he discovered his purpose — he finally found his tone.
He realized how much giving fulfilled him. He decided to build an academy for underprivileged children.
He played to raise money and awareness for the academy.
He played for his new family with Steffi Graf and their children.
And being clear on the purpose of life and tennis, meant he could convey his tone more confidently and consistently with the public.
At the finals of the 1999 French Open, he was so thankful to be there, he blew kisses to all 4 directions — to every corner of the earth.
Andre was so filled with gratitude he decided this was how he wanted to end every game, win or lose.
Fans adored him. The media described him as transformed.
But they got it wrong, he explains. It was progress.
In our writing, we may not know what our tone is initially.
But when we decide on our tone, our readers will be more likely to feel who we are and what we’re about.
They’ll feel our purpose. And if they connect deeply, they’ll be loyal fans.
Like Agassi, our writing won’t transform overnight. Instead, we’re more likely to progress the way we write as we keep writing. As we keep failing. As we keep learning. As we get clarity.
I wanted my tone to combine a mixture of my personality — and how I want readers to feel while they’re reading. I want to recreate how I interact with people offline.
So I’ve decided to write based on how I speak in conversation.
Because conversation is what we do every day, it rolls off our tongue.
And we easily understand — and aim to be understood by other people in conversation.
It’s casual, filled with awesome stories, told with unique expressions… and it’s easy to take in. We don’t fluff about with pompous big words. (Well most of us don’t, do we?)
I shudder at the word ‘should’. I feel rebellious when anyone tells me what I “should" do.
That’s why I rarely use the word.
I prefer to suggest rather than prescribe. To uplift rather than bring down — because most of us can be negative very well on our own.
I aim to come across as conversational, compassionate, approachable, inspiring, and humble. Professional yet personable.
How do you treat the people around you?
TO DO
What tone will you use?
- Authoritative
- Formal
- Informal
- Conversational
- Prescriptive
- Honest
- Personable
- Sarcastic
- <INSERT TONE HERE>
Keep this list near you — or in your mind as you write.
So you’ve identified your tone. Next, let’s move onto your interests.
2. Interests
Agassi’s favourite movie is Shadowlands by C.S. Lewis. He is awed and connects instantly with others who have also enjoyed this movie.
His favourite line is: ‘Pain is God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world. We are like blocks of stone…[The blows of His chisel, which hurt us so much, are what makes us perfect.’
The movie reflects his experiences. His relationship with his brother. His understanding about all the pain he’s experienced. Why it was necessary. And how it has made his life so meaningful.
Fascinating insight about Andre.
When you’re not working or sleeping, how do you spend your time?
Do you love running, playing the guitar, cooking, entertaining, painting, biking, or reading? Do you like Star Trek, U2, or Big Bang Theory?
Your interests are part of what makes you unique. Weave them into your writing.
Here are a few writers who’ve avoided blah content, and instead created brilliant content by incorporating their interests into posts:
Justin Cox 🍩 finds valuable writing tips from popular 90s sitcom Seinfield in 7 Things We Can Learn From Jerry Seinfeld About Writing.
Melissa Chu looks to her favourite author for work tips in J.R.R. Tolkien’s Writing Process On Creating Good Work.
And Alex Karadzin shares thoughts inspired by actor Dwayne Johnson in The Rock: How to Be Authentic In A Noisy World.
Your interests will add vibrancy, life, and personality to your writing.
Best of all, no-one else is likely to have exactly the same interests as you.
TO DO
- List your favourite hobbies
- Brainstorm writing topics and analogies that could incorporate your hobbies
So far we’ve explored writing tone, and your interests. Next, let’s dig into your most memorable life experiences.
3. Experiences
Agassi had many significant experiences in his life. These made his book come alive because these were true, raw, unique experiences:
Relentless training on the ‘dragon’ ball machine his dad created for him when he was just 7 years old.
Failing, countless times, even after winning Grand Slams — and so badly he had to return to the indignity of small-time matches.
Picking up balls that drifted from other courts while he played. Manually operating his own scoreboards.
His ongoing infatuation with the great female tennis player, Steffi Graf. And how he finally won her over.
His awe at dinner with Nelson Mandela.
The moment he realized his purpose.
When you meet someone new you really connect with, what do you most often tell them about?
Perhaps you talk about how much you loved college, the shittiest job you ever had, or the best concert you’ve ever been to.
Have you lost the love of your life, backpacked for a year, or switched careers at the peak of your success?
Life experiences make powerful stories. Because these experiences are real. Raw. Courageously vulnerable. They make us feel.
And we all love a good story.
Paul S Markle speaks about his time using marijuana in How Writing Sparks the Best Natural High.
Tony Fahkry shares how he stuttered his way through a presentation in How I Ventured To The Edge Of My Limits.
And I share the devastation of leaving my graduate job after 3 months in Not another success article.
Share relevant stories about your life to give substance and authenticity to your writing.
TO DO
- List your significant life experiences
- Analyse them:
What was funny, horrifying, tragic, or life-changing about them?
What mistakes did you make?
What have you learnt?
How can you entertain, inform, or educate your readers with these experiences?
Ok. So far you’ve worked out your writing tone. You’ve identified your interests and picked out the highlights of your life so far. Let’s finish with how you speak and think.
4. Expressions
What expressions do you use most often? How do you think?
Including your unique expressions in writing shows us who you are. It breathes life into blah content.
It’s the difference between a boring textbook and an animated storyteller with an audience clinging happily to every word.
Agassi’s personality came through strongly in his book:
‘By day I’m the model prisoner…by night I’m the masked avenger.’
‘I so badly want to piss and run back to the house and call Stephanie, but I can’t. I have a bladder like a whale.’
‘After decades of merely dabbling in masochism, I’m making it my mission.’
‘I’ve been cheered by thousands, booed by thousands, but nothing feels as bad as booing inside your own head during those ten minutes before you fall asleep.’
Do you get a good feel of what he may be like in person?
To show your readers who you are, give them a glimpse of how you speak and think.
TO DO
- Note your expressions as you say them — or think them. Ask your friends and family what you say often.
- Use these expressions in your writing.
Summary: How to find your authentic writing voice and deeply connect with your readers
Like Agassi, it’s tough to find your voice amongst the confusion and the crowd.
But to deeply connect with our reader, they need to hear and feel the real you.
So they can decide if they like and trust you. And wholly embrace your words.
The key is to identify what makes you you: experiences, expressions, hobbies, your personality. And combine that with how you want readers to feel.
Now go on my friend, write on and show us who you are.
By the way, who is your favourite blogger and why? Leave a comment, I’d love to know (and am always keen to learn from other writers :)
