When It Seems Life Is Falling Apart, It May Actually Be Falling Into Place Better Than Expected

Tony Fahkry
Published in
6 min readSep 18, 2017


Laying The Framework

“Everything is falling together perfectly, even though it looks as if some things are falling apart. Trust in the process you are now experiencing.” — Neale Donald Walsch

The Master was in a mellow mood and the disciples were inquisitive.

“Did he ever feel depressed,” they asked.

“He did.”

“Wasn’t it also true he was in a continual state of happiness?” they persisted.

“It was.”

“What was the secret?” they wanted to know.

Said the Master, “This: everything is as good or as bad as one’s opinion makes it.”

The meaning we attribute to events impacts us more than we realise. When it seems your life is falling apart, your outlook dictates your response.

The tale by Anthony De Mello underscores the message espoused by Shakespeare, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

For circumstances to unfold, they must first fall apart to rebuild a stronger foundation. When a person hits rock bottom, the only place to go is up. This can be enriching, since it reaffirms the human spirit cannot be crushed, despite inhospitable conditions.

We must make room for the new in our lives, by letting go of that which no longer serves us. If your beliefs are outdated, release them instead of holding on.

While it may appear your life is falling apart, it is laying the framework for its rebuilding exactly as it should.

“When everything falls apart and we feel uncertainty, disappointment, shock, embarrassment, what’s left is a mind that is clear, unbiased, and fresh,” states Pema Chodron.

Circumstances Are Transitional

“Don’t be concerned that things appear to be falling apart: this has to happen in order for something new and wonderful to emerge.” — Marianne Williamson

Consider a renovated house. If you were to evaluate the overall design of the house while it is being demolished, you might assume it isn’t coming together as planned. Yet, if you consult with the architects and interior designers, you see wonderful plans for the home’s refurbishment that looks perfect once the project is complete.

So with your life’s journey.

To presume life is falling apart based on your perception, is to focus on one part of the process.

Life is neither fair nor unfair, according to your assessment of it. There’s an energy that permeates throughout life. What needs to take place will do so irrespective of your resistance to it.

To wish away an unpleasant experience only intensifies your response.

When you experience anguish, pick yourself up and continue on your journey.

Vulnerability is part of the human condition. For in the howling wasteland of despair, we unearth our resiliency once the storm has settled.

Psychotherapist and author David Richo reaffirms this message when he writes: “No matter how dark or destructive things become, we are aware of a healing energy ever afoot that indefatigably renews and rebuilds what falls apart. Something keeps putting it — and us — all back together. This is why it is all right to fall apart.”

Life is in your corner urging you to prevail, realising your current circumstances are transitional.

Nothing Lasts Forever

“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing.” — Pema Chodron

Take note of the messages that appear during your darkest hours. They are glimpses of the light heralding you towards the Truth.

Your greatest breakthroughs will often arrive during moments of hopelessness. Whilst it may not appear that way, once the dust has settled you will see something greater emerge.

We humans are uncomfortable with change because it threatens our survival. This is natural and we should embrace this instead of escape the pain.

“So the next time you encounter fear, consider yourself lucky. This is where the courage comes in. Usually we think that brave people have no fear. The truth is that they are intimate with fear,” reaffirms Pema Chodron.

So, we ask ourselves what we need to let go of in order to proceed down the new path.

To reason with your current state keeps you paralysed in your circumstances and slows the progress of where you’re meant to be.

There’s a purpose to life, irrespective of your struggle. Whilst it makes little sense in the midst of chaos, if we suspend judgement, the complete picture will emerge in due course.

A major breakdown can open doors to several breakthroughs if we’re willing to lean into the discomfort.

Don’t look for an end to your situation, experience what arises despite how emotionally charged it is. To drive away pain defers it, to remerge with greater intensity at a later period.

It was Winston Churchill who once declared: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Nothing lasts for ever, even anguish recedes to give way to a new day once time has passed and our wounds have healed.

I am drawn to the message from motivational speaker John C. Maxwell in The Difference Maker: Making Your Attitude Your Greatest Asset: “I’ve found that there are really only two kinds of people in this world when it comes to dealing with discouragement: splatters and bouncers. When splatters hit rock bottom, they fall apart, and they stick to the bottom like glue. On the other hand, when bouncers hit bottom, they pull together and bounce back.”

Look To The Future

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

We are strange creatures. We thrive in ideal conditions and struggle through chaos.

Underneath the pain is the knowledge we are: resilient, adaptable and capable of surviving.

What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

The challenge when life falls apart is the hopelessness that consumes us. We might believe we are the masters of our fate, so when the rug is pulled out from under us, it threatens our stability.

However, this is a powerful revelation because when everything is taken away, life steps in to transport us to our next journey.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. reminds us: “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

So when it seems your life is falling apart, look to the future. For in the ruins of the past is a signpost pointing you to something wonderful.

Accept your current conditions and stop resisting the flow of life.

We can be hard on ourselves, believing we contributed to our life falling apart. Whilst you’re a co-creator in the experience, it is essential for your personal evolution and had to take place as it did.

It is with this knowledge we delight in the words of the Master, who calls us to be attentive that everything is as good or bad as one’s opinion.

So we suspend believing our life is falling apart and trust it is coming together better than we imagined.

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Tony Fahkry

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