You’re NOT The Average Of The Five People You Surround Yourself With

You’ve probably heard it more times than you can count. “You’re the average of the five people spend the most time with,” a quote attributed most often to motivational speaker Jim Rohn. There’s also the “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future” derivative.

Whichever you’ve heard, the intent is the same. Audit the people around you. Make sure that you’re spending time with people who are in line with what you want for your own life (preferably people “better” than you so it raises your average). It’s compelling. It’s provocative.

And it isn’t true.

At least not in the way that you think. I’ve been researching the science of social networks for my newest book, and I found that you are indeed influenced by the people around you. But that influence doesn’t stop anywhere near the five people you spend the most time with. It’s far more dispersed and research suggests it includes people you haven’t even met yet.

The first major study on the breadth of social influence was conducted by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler. The duo was examined the data set from the Framingham Heart Study, one of the largest and longest running health studies ever, when they realized that it covered more than just the heart health of the participants. They were…