I'm the CGI Artist in Charge of Deleting Boners From Marvel Movies

It is a hard job, but someone has to do it

Photo by Mike Greer from Pexels edited by the author

Hello, friends, old and new. You may know me from hits such as Captain America's enhanced tushy or Spiderman's prominent pecs.

Actually, no, you have probably never heard of me, for I have the most thankless job in the industry.

You know how when you watch a Marvel movie, and you see those muscular guys in a thigh suit, and then your eyes unavoidably travel down their chiseled chest and belly until they stop at their crotch area because you are expecting such magnificent humans to carry huge boners?

You are hoping to glimpse a piece of heaven, aren't you?

But then, disappointment hits when you realize despite the thinness of the fabric, there's nothing there for you to see, for that cherished stick of paradise has been stolen from you.

It was me. I'm the thief.

I thought this was going to be huge.

I was young and naive and in need of money. So, when I heard there was an opening in the CGI team at Marvel Studios, I thought my prayers had been answered.

I believed I was going to be part of something huge.