Hey Bro, Are You Oriental?

Language is a tricky business. There are words, and then there are intentions. Plenty gets lost in translation, even when everyone is speaking the same language. Cultural misunderstandings happen. I try not to fault people for misusing a word if English isn’t their first language.

A few years ago, plumbers came to our apartment to fix some rotting drywall. Two guys in full gear came trudging up the stairs around mid-morning. They were remarkably considerate, removing their heavy boots before stepping into the bathroom. The men were so quiet I soon forgot they were there.

About an hour later, I put my down my book and went to the kitchen for coffee. While I was waiting for it to finish brewing, I noticed the men exchanging glances. My Spanish is atrocious. I couldn’t understand their conversation, but I got the feeling they were talking about me.

I didn’t want to be that guy so I pushed the thought aside. I offered them some water which they politely declined, showing me their full bottles.

Another thirty minutes passed. I got up to ask about the new gaping hole in our bathroom. In heavily accented English, the taller of the two men explained that water from the upstairs unit had leaked into our ceiling. The patchwork was easy, he assured me, and would only take another hour or so.

Nice fellows. I had barely sat down to read again when I heard the same man shout from the bathroom.

“Hey bro, are you Oriental?!”

I’m not a rug. My choices for interpretation were limited. I tempered myself knowing he probably didn’t realize the significance of his word choice. Both men were smiling at me from down the hall, awaiting a response.

“You mean Asian? Yeah, I’m Chinese, why do you ask?”

The men roared with deep, guttural laughter. Their jovial manner confirmed miscommunication.

“My friend and I… He thought you were Nicaraguan, I thought you were Oriental. We were betting on which one you were. I won!”

The plumbers returned to their work and continued to mention the “Chino” as they plastered the new wall.

There are words, then there are intentions.

They did a great job with the ceiling.