Modern Marcus: The Eleventh Book
‘While other people may try to stop you following the paths of reason and doing the right thing, you don’t have to let them succeed. Nor do you have to allow them to prevent you acting towards them with generosity and kindness.’
1. What does it all mean?
What does it mean to be a rational human?
Well, it means being able to look within yourself. It means being able to change and develop to be the best version of you. It means enjoying the results of having the most evolved mind in the animal kingdom. It means focusing on the right things no matter what stage of life you’re at.
It’s not like a TV series which, if suddenly cut short, leaves everything up in the air. Your inner self should have done everything it needs to so that, if your personal show is cut short, you leave nothing unfinished.
A rational person can look at things from the perspective of the wider universe. They can project forward into eternity and understand that everything is part of a larger, cosmic cycle of life, death and change.
They understand that, at a fundamental level, we’ll see nothing our parents haven’t seen before us. Likewise, our kids won’t see anything truly new. It doesn’t matter whether you live to just 40 — if you’ve paid attention to what matters, you’ll have seen everything you’ll ever need to see. Because it’s all the same.
Finally, a rational person will love their fellow humans. They’ll value truth and modesty. Above everything else, they’ll have self-respect. And because of all this, they’ll value justice and fairness.
2. How enchanting
It’s easy to get swept away with others’ performances, whether it’s singing, acting, political speeches or the perfect tweet. But you don’t have to be.
Break each down to its separate elements — the lyrics, the tune, the individual carefully chosen words. Ask yourself, ‘Is this influencing me?’
It might be embarrassing if the answer is yes. Are you so easily swayed?
Do this for everything you see and hear. Split everything up into its component parts and you’ll find it’s easier to disengage your emotions and re-engage your reason.
3. Ready or not?
It’s a wonderful thing to be ready at the hour of your death for whatever it brings — whether that’s pure nothingness, the dispersal of your atoms, even an afterlife of some sort.
But this readiness must be the result of an active decision. It can’t just be because you want to stick your tongue out at the forces of conformity.
It should be because you’ve thought about it, deliberated and resisted the urge to descend into petty dramatics.
4. Unselfish rewards
Have I acted unselfishly? If so, I already have my reward. Keep this thought front and centre and you’ll stay the path.
5. Your job
Ah, that opening dinner party question, ‘What do you do?’
The real answer is: Be good.
But how can you do this if you haven’t truly understood how the universe and the people around you really work?
6. It’s a tragedy
The origin of drama was tragedy — a way of showing all the ups and downs of life (particularly the downs). It was a reminder that shit happens all the time.
We still enjoy this kind of thing on TV today. And since we can enjoy it on the screen, why should we freak out when it happens in real life?
After all, these performances show that people can endure almost anything — despite being driven to outbursts of the ‘For fuck’s sake!’ variety.
They also give us some useful quotes:
‘Sometimes, it’s just easier to abide than it is to struggle.’ The Dude in The Big Lebowski.
‘Get busy living or get busy dying.’ Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption.
‘The things you own end up owning you.’ Tyler Durden in Fight Club.
And there’s a bunch more if you look for them.
Following on from tragedy came comedy (in the original sense). This gave us a good telling off for our vanity, sparing no blushes.
Later, of course, this all degenerated into clever lines and exaggeration. But you have to ask, what’s the point of this?
7. Deal with it
It’s pretty obvious that nothing will better prepare you for putting all this thinking into practice than the situation you find yourself in right now.
8. Trees and people
Cut a branch off another branch and it will, of course, become separated from the tree.
It’s the same with people. Someone cut off from everyone else is separated from the rest of humanity.
But while the branch isn’t responsible for its separation, people often are. They let hate, fear, greed and suchlike divide them from other individuals (all without realising they are cutting themselves off from wider society in the process).
The good news is that it’s possible to become reattached.
But if you are continually detaching and reattaching it can become increasingly difficult to ever truly become one again. It’s like the difference between a branch that’s always been on the tree and one that’s grafted on later. Sure, it may be the same tree, but the connection is never quite the same.
9. Failure is failure
While other people may try to stop you from following the path of reason and doing the right thing, you don’t have to let them succeed. Nor do you have to allow them to prevent you from acting towards them with generosity and kindness.
You have to protect against both of these, countering them with both resolve and kindness. It would be just as frustrating to fail on either count.
If that happens, it’s still a failure of living up to your ideals no matter how you look at it. One stems from a lack of courage, the other from a lack of human empathy.
10. Natural justice
Nature will always be superior to art because all art stems from nature (however abstracted).
It stands to reason that just as art uses all manner of techniques in service of a higher vision, nature does too. Nature gives us justice, and from justice come all manner of other virtues (kindness, generosity, truth).
But it’s still about the overarching vision. Justice won’t be served if we get hung up on things that are simply distractions or if we’re misled into making the wrong decisions.
11. Don’t move
You can get all stressed out chasing your dreams or trying to avoid the crap you think is heading your way.
But in reality, none of this is coming in your direction. You have to go to it.
If you only learn to stop lusting after the one or being afraid of the other, they’ll stay exactly where they are.
12. Just chill
Your true, inner self will remain perfectly untroubled as long as it’s neither grasping for something it thinks it needs or collapsing and shrinking in fear.
Instead, it’ll show its true colours, shining with the honesty and truth inside.
13. Sticks? Stones?
Is someone making fun of me? Well, that’s up to them. All I can do is ensure I don’t deserve it.
Maybe someone hates me. Again, that’s their problem. I’ll try to be friendly and helpful to others no matter who they are.
I’ll try to show those who hate me that they’ve got it wrong, but I won’t do so in some kind of passive-aggressive manner or by making a big show of it.
This is an attitude that has to come from within — there’s no good to be had from holding a grudge and basking in self-pity. After all, what harm can really come from doing the right thing in the moment for the benefit of the world around you?
14. Hating what you love
You see people both hate others and also desperately want to be just like them. These people spend so much time planning to one-up others but, at the same time, cower in fear.
15. Trust me
Alarm bells should start ringing as soon as someone says, ‘I’m going to be honest with you.’
What are they playing at?
If it’s real honesty, it needs no setup. It should be plain to see and hear. It should shine from their eyes (just as you immediately know a lover’s meaning when they give you that look).
Sincerity and goodness should be so obvious that you can smell them in the air. They should be instantly recognisable.
Fake sincerity is a hidden gun. It’s like Red Riding Hood faced with the wolf’s false friendship — something to be avoided at all costs. The real deal is so obvious, no one can mistake it for anything else.
16. Perfectly indifferent
Anyone can live a perfectly good life if they are indifferent to things which are fundamentally indifferent to them.
This means first looking at the elements that make up whatever you’re faced with before looking at the thing itself.
You have to remember, nothing in the thing itself (object, person, whatever) is ultimately responsible for the opinions we hold about it — that’s down to us. We make these judgements and etch them into our brains.
We do this even though we’re perfectly capable of refusing (or of hitting the delete button if such opinions creep up on us). It’s just mental discipline.
Don’t forget, we live short little lives. There’s no time to waste on getting annoyed when things aren’t how you’d like them to be.
As long as they are part of the natural way of things, don’t fret. And if that’s not the case, look to yourself and your own values. Head in this direction without caring what others think. There’s no blame here.
17. Polymorph for beginners
Whatever you encounter, ask: What’s it made of? How is it changing? What will it turn into? And then realise, it’ll be no worse for the change.
18. Nine rules for avoiding offence
When someone pisses you off, here are some things that could help.
First, remember that we’re all part of one big human family. Strip it back further and we’re all made of the same atoms (mostly oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium and phosphorus). We’re all intelligent, thinking creatures who have scraped our way to the top of the pyramid on this beautiful planet we call home.
Second, think about what the offending person is really like in all the roles they play in their lives. What’s pressuring them to think and act the way they do? How much is it all to do with their own self-esteem?
Third, what if they’re right? Then you have no reason to complain. And if they’re wrong, they’ve simply made a mistake. Just as no one wants to be lied to, no one wants to do wrong either. Imagine how they’d react if they were accused of being unfair or greedy or stupid. They’d be pretty quick to get angry.
Fourth, look, just between us, you know that you sometimes piss people off too. So really, you’re no different than them. On a good day, you’re on top of this but the inclination is still there, lurking in a corner of your brain. Chances are, the only thing holding you back is a worry of what others would think.
Fifth, you don’t really know for sure they’re doing anything wrong. You can’t see into their heart. People’s motives are never 20:20 (even to themselves). You need to be super clear on this before condemning someone else’s behaviour.
Sixth, if you’re getting impatient and frustrated by it all, remind yourself, life’s short. And when you’re dead, who’ll really care?
Seventh, it’s not what they’ve done that’s getting to you, it’s just your opinions of their actions. Ditch this and the offence will evaporate before your eyes. How do you do this? Remind yourself that their offence hasn’t done any real harm to you, not to the core of who you are.
Eighth, getting so wound up about it will only really damage you and won’t affect the root cause of your offence.
Ninth, last one, it’s difficult for anyone to resist genuine kindness. Even when someone is trying to be a total dick, it won’t work if you meet it with gentle good humour. Sure, try to correct them if you can or else jump in before they get started with a ‘You know, we’re both fellow humans in this crazy world. You might want to hurt me but that’s not how I roll. You’re just going to get all worked up for nothing.’
Be polite about it. Point out how other animals don’t act like this (and they aren’t as smart as your accuser). But don’t be sarcastic or picky. Be genuinely nice. You’re not their school teacher and needn’t play to the crowd (whether they’re with you in person or hovering over the retweet button). And even if there are others around, treat the situation as if it was just the two of you there alone.
Keep all this in mind and live up to your best self. But even though you’re protecting yourself from attack, don’t go sucking up to anyone, especially the person offending you. That won’t help.
Remember, losing your temper is never the solution. There is more to be gained from being authentically rational and humane, from gentleness and calm. That’s strength. Anger is simply weakness.
One more thing, a bonus if you like: haters gonna hate. To expect bad people never to do bad things is just foolish. It’s not going to happen. In the same way, tolerating them being dicks to others while getting angry when they do it to you is simply irrational.
19. Four things
There are four things your mind will say that’ll throw you off track:
- This thought isn’t necessary.
- This will make people upset.
- This isn’t what I really think (then where did the thought come from?).
- This will damage my self-esteem.
They’re all signs that something’s out of whack at the very core of who you are (or it’s being overwhelmed by your baser, more insecure instincts).
20. Don’t be naughty
All atoms — every single molecule, every element of the Periodic Table — obey the laws of the universe. Some float up into the atmosphere. Some drop like a stone. They don’t go trying to rewrite the rules — there’d be no point.
So isn’t weird that the one part of you that should know better, your rational mind, is off being naughty somewhere else?
How else could you view its moves towards anger, fear, grief, insecurity and all the rest? The captain of your inner self has gone AWOL.
It’s the same whenever your mind throws its toys out of the pram, resenting the way things pan out at any given time. This is how the universe works. It’s the way of the world that you’ve evolved to be a part of. It’s been this way forever.
21. What is good?
If you don’t have some overarching aim in life, you’ll tend to be all over the place.
But pointing this out isn’t enough. We have to be able to say what this aim should be.
It’s obvious that it’s almost impossible to get the whole of humanity to agree on what we mean by ‘good’. The best we can do then is to talk in terms of what improves the lot of humanity as a whole.
If you keep this as your aim, you’ll be consistent in your actions throughout your life.
22. Careful what you wish for
There’s a fable in which an old man is struggling along a road with a pile of sticks on his shoulder. Finally, he decides he can’t take this anymore and cries out, ‘I’d rather die than carry these sticks a step further.’ Hearing him, Death appears (cloak, scythe, the whole deal) and says, ‘How can I help you old man?’ Looking pale, the man quickly replies, ‘Please help me get these sticks back on my shoulder.’
There’s a lesson here in being careful what you wish for. Don’t trade your peace of mind for excitement, disorder and quick fixes.
23. Popular thinking is scary
The world is crammed full of ‘popular’ beliefs. We should tell children that these are the real monsters under the bed.
24. It’s just polite
If you’ve got guests coming, say for a barbeque, let them sit in the shade while you sit wherever’s left.
25. Small favours?
Back in the day, the philosopher Socrates turned down an invitation from a very famous, very powerful general in Alexander the Great’s army.
This invitation would have been seen as a great honour. However, Socrates said he couldn’t go because to do so would mean going to his grave with dishonour.
You see, he didn’t want to accept something that he’d never be able to repay.
26. Inspiration on your phone screen
With all the trials of modern life, it can be difficult to keep your focus on doing the right thing no matter what. It can help to keep a picture of someone who embodies this aspiration close to hand.
27. Stars don’t lie
Take time to look up at the stars on a clear night. It’s a reminder that there are universal laws that govern everything around you, ones even something as massive and powerful as a star cannot ignore.
28. This changes nothing
It’s like if your best friend plays a joke at the beach, running off with your clothes, leaving you in just your skimpies. At the end of the day, they’re still your friend because you love them for so many other things.
29. Learn the rules before you break them
Say you want to become a great writer. Before you experiment with bending the rules, you first have to really understand them. This is even more true in life.
30. Always a slave
If all you want is to follow others, rational thought is probably not for you.
31. Heartfelt
‘And my heart laughed with me.’ (From Homer’s The Odyssey.)
32. Under attack
People always attack and abuse true integrity.
33. Time for everything
Just as it’s foolish to go looking for summer fruit in winter, it’s also unwise to want kids in old age.
34. Grim nature
‘When you kiss your child,’ the philosopher Epictetus said, ‘you should remind yourself, they may be dead tomorrow.’
‘That’s terrible, how can you say that?’ we might say to him.
‘Not at all,’ he’d reply, ‘it’s just an act of nature. Would you think it’s terrible that corn ripens in the Summer sun?’
35. The next thing
From inedible green grapes to a beautifully ripened bunch of fruit to sweet, tasty raisins — it’s just change after change, not into nothing, simply into the next thing.
36. Unbreakable
You can never be robbed of your own free will. No thief can do this.
37. A lesson
It’s important you find a way to keep your impulses under control. They should be focused on the well-being of others and in proportion to what’s needed.
Keep a lid on your self-interest.
Don’t pay attention to anything you can’t directly influence or control (and the only thing you can really control is what goes on in your mind).
38. The only question
It’s pointless arguing about trivialities. The only question is, will you be rational or not?
39. Got it
Which do you want to be, a reasonable person or an unreasonable one?
‘Reasonable,’ you say.
OK, and do you want to be a sick reasonable person or a healthy one?
‘Healthy.’
Then why aren’t you putting all your efforts into achieving it?
‘Because I already have it,’ you answer.
Then what is it with all the worry, stress and argument?
