30 Things About Motherhood No One Told You

#15 Other moms will judge you

Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

I figured by becoming a first-time mom in my late 30s, I had it in the bag. I knew what was to come, how hard it was going to be, and the demands that were going to be made of me. I was going to birth this baby out of me and pro-tip my way through the newborn phase, high-fiving my husband all the way into the toddler years.

Nope. Big screeching, stop right there…NO!

My baby came and I think I went into a state of disbelief for the first year. How did no one before me tell me this was how it was going to be? I felt like everyone I had ever talked to sugar-coated this whole new mom thing.

Having a baby is nothing short of a beautiful miracle, but my God, it is the hardest thing you will ever do.

Here are some things I found most surprising during my first year as a mother.

1. You talk about taking a shower as if it were this luxury to be included in “me time”
2. Your hair will never look better in a messy bun, every single day
3. If you’ve brushed your teeth, you’ve already won for the day
4. Sleep, what is that? No really, how the heck do we function on so little sleep
5. Everyone and their mother has unsolicited advice on how to raise your child
6. Your relationship with your partner will be tested, like really, really tested
7. You will randomly wake up in the middle of the night panicking because you forgot where you left the baby
8. Your dominant hand will make you a magician, capable of doing everything with one hand
9. You may need to pee with a baby sleeping on your chest
10. You will become obsessed with poop, the color of it, the consistency of it, how much of it, and everything in between
11. It might take some time to learn how to share your body with your baby and your partner
12. The whole “bounce back” body isn’t really a thing. Shame on whoever came up with that term
13. The pressure to become a freaking superhuman will be unbearable at times. Bless you working mamas- I see you
14. Breastfeeding is recommended, but no one wants you to do it around them in public
15. Other moms will judge you
16. You might get postpartum depression or anxiety- honestly, we need to talk about this one more
17. No, you will not be sipping champagne in the delivery room after you have the baby
18. The business of giving birth is dangerous
19. You will stare at your baby for hours on end, lost in their breathing patterns, in complete amazement at this little human you created
20. Your heart will fill with immeasurable amounts of love, a feeling so pure and beautiful you may never be able to describe it truly- ineffable
21. Everything your baby will do will be amazing. A sneeze never looked more adorable
22. Labor isn’t always this horrible event we hear about or see in movies
23. You will never worry more about another person than you do your child
24. Time will stand still and equally move fast
25. Your partner may or may not be as supportive as you thought he or she would be
26. Your body changes. It might take time to adjust and accept your postpartum body
27. Your boobs will be huge and then literally deflate after breastfeeding
28. Your relationship with your partner will change
29. You may grieve the life you had before having a baby
30. You will find it rare to have moments to yourself, savor them when they happen

Maybe I was really naïve and thought having a baby simply meant our family would expand as I saw those whose families grew before me. I didn’t realize so many other things would happen too. I mean, who even thinks about having to go pee attached to a little human?

Motherhood is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, but with the greatest reward. It has been the most beautiful thing to happen in my life. If you’re reading this, I hope if you too go through these challenges, you also come to this happy conclusion.