Don’t Let Your Girls’ Athlete Identities Slip Away
Here’s how to support them
My 12-year-old son has almost every resource in the world at his fingertips when it comes to athletics. He can be part of 15 football teams with a thousand different coaches, and he’s known that kind of supportive infrastructure his entire life. Support systems for boys’ athletics are built into every school and community throughout their childhood, reinforcing boys’ commitment to sports and the qualities that come from participation.
My son basically feels like a pro already, and as an athlete and a mother, I’m thrilled for him. But I’m significantly less thrilled to know he wouldn’t have the same opportunities if he weren’t a boy: Girls are constantly slipping out of athletics; they don’t get the same level of support to hold them in.
I got lucky when I was a kid. Coca-Cola sponsored my team; I had all this swag that made me feel like I was a star, too. It instilled lasting confidence that eventually played a big part in helping me become a successful athlete and entrepreneur. But most girls don’t tend to see the same kind of support. While junior boys’ teams enjoy ample resources, girls’ teams are left scrounging in hand-me-down jerseys to find enough coaches, fields, gear, and whatever else they need to play the game.
It might seem like things are getting better as women athletes like Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles make headlines, but their celebrity status portrays an unrealistic picture of the level of value, respect, and resources going into girls’ athletics. If you look away from the limelight and adjust your eyes back to reality, you’ll notice that along with a lack of infrastructure for girls’ sports, the range of athletic toys, clothes, sports memorabilia, etc., for girls to choose from is severely limited. We still live in a highly gender-segregated sports society. It’s no surprise girls drop out of sports at two to three times the rate of boys and many don’t participate in sports at all.
Why Girls Aren’t Staying in Sports
A big reason girls drop out at higher rates is that the future vision isn’t as clear for girls. Many young girls see college athletics as the pinnacle of their aspirations, but as soon as they realize they won’t get a scholarship, be in the big game, or have a pro sports moment, they lose interest.
Sure, there are some professional opportunities out there like tennis, golf, and the WNBA. And there’s the Olympics every four years. But clearly, the avenues are limited, and representation is nowhere near widespread with respect to men’s sports careers. What is widespread is the myth that people don’t enjoy women’s sports, don’t buy tickets to women’s games, and don’t care in general. Women’s sports are never celebrated automatically, and girls don’t get to see themselves represented like boys do all their lives.
Then there’s the issue of money — probably the biggest issue of all. If women athletes made the kind of money men did, this wouldn’t be a problem. But money talks, and if you traced gender discrimination in sports back to one root, my bet is on the fact that there’s simply not enough money in women’s sports. You can make more money as an influencer or a gamer than you can as a woman athlete. And women’s teams and athletes have historically received less than 1% of sponsorship dollars, even though the commercial value of women’s sports is significant and rising despite not having the same media opportunities. What does this tell girls who are interested in sports? What does this reiterate time and time again for society in general? The world doesn’t value girls’ athleticism so, of course, many turn away from it. But we must fight harder to keep them in the game.
So What’s the Problem?
Sports teach more than just how to play a game. Athleticism instills confidence, communication skills, and countless other characteristics that benefit people their whole lives. In 2020, EY found that 94% of C-suite women have played sports. EY also has a program supporting elite athletes seeking new careers in business; the organization hires former female athletes and Olympians because they know these women have internalized commitment to a cause, teamwork, and hard work; to follow a game plan; to adjust on the field, and more. My former teammate Jillion Potter, a former USA National Rugby player who participates in this program, earned her MBA while training to be an Olympian and successfully transitioned into a senior associate role at EY.
Businesses recruit at athlete campuses because athletics teach how to work both independently and as part of a team. That’s why I was recruited at the University of Michigan Business School by Leo Burnett Advertising and why the HR director said they were specifically looking for athletes.
But keeping girls in the game is about more than representation for women in the C-suite. It’s also about the access, power, and resources those positions afford to affect positive change in the world. It’s the idea that these leaders or senior-level positions are the gateways to the money and power that facilitate freedom and the ability to influence, make better choices, and make a better world. Developing more women leaders is fundamental to creating a future with more equality, more equity, and more women at the table. This includes women being in positions of power to make critical women’s sports sponsorship decisions for corporations.
Encouraging and supporting girls in athletics from a young age helps facilitate this change and prepare girls to become future leaders and change agents.
How Parents Can Help Keep Girls in the Game (and at the Decision-Making Table)
Part of being a parent is helping your kids move through spaces with less friction by finding competitive edges. We’re all trying to find ways to get through life easier, but some people are born with friction — like girls, especially in minority communities and cultures. So how do you get rid of that friction? It’s difficult to fully eliminate, but remember that athletics will always be a valuable competitive edge.
Many girls lose their athlete identity early. But if you’re out running, on a bike, or putting time and effort into sports? You’re an athlete. Gaining back girls’ athletic identities requires intersectional thinking. It can’t be, “I’m a girl and then an athlete,” or “I’m an athlete and then a girl.” Or worse yet, “I’m a girl OR an athlete.” It must be, “Yes, and …”: Yes, I am an athlete, and yes, I am a girl. They aren’t mutually exclusive.
We gift this thinking to boys from the very beginning, but we make girls earn it or stop them from even trying, with some countries even taking extreme measures to prevent girls from participating in athletics. That’s a key difference. We must begin to gift the athlete identity to girls from day one. They can be athletes — they should be athletes — and we should be celebrating that identity in girls so they don’t fear being othered for their interest in sports. Embracing the athlete identity permits girls to be athletic and claim that space as their own.
To let the athlete’s identity slip away without a fight is a dangerous mistake. The identity is such a powerful internal narrative that drives hard work, dedication, and being a critical part of a team. That’s why this intersectional approach of the athlete identity is so important: Girls need to feel like they have more choices about who they want to be and how they’ll interact with the world in the future.
Parents need to help bring girls more supportive infrastructure and opportunities. Sign your girls up for everything — get them every single ball on the planet to find their niche in the world of athletics. Volunteer to be a coach or whatever you can do to show that you support this part of their identity. We need moms coaching, sisters coaching, aunts and friends coaching. Girls need this support to show them their athleticism is valued.
Beyond showing up as a supporter, parents need to fight for the same infrastructure that boys’ sports have. And businesses need to help. Parents can see which businesses or brands are sponsoring boys’ teams and demand they turn attention and funds toward girls’ teams, too. Walk in and tell them, “I see that you’re sponsoring the boys’ football team. Why aren’t you sponsoring any girls’ sports?”
We need businesses to take part in the movement toward women’s sports equality. We need money and resources to find the fields, get the swag, and get kids feeling like they’re rock stars. We have to develop that feeling of belonging to and owning the athlete identity for girls. We need to create these pipelines for girls to follow that make them see a future, feel valued, and know there’s money being invested in them. They need to know there’s something at the end of that pipeline for them, both on the field and at decision-making tables.
