Is Working from Home Hurting your Relationship with your Kids?
Millions of Americans have discovered over the past year that running a household is not easy, especially when you have to homeschool your kids and work from home at the same time. Working parents, especially single moms who don’t have a nanny at their disposal, have been stretched thin for months. As they have to juggle being daycare providers and home school teachers on top of their usual responsibilities, working from home has become a struggle.
If you’re beginning to worry that working from home may have harmed your relationship with your kids due to feeling stressed out or angry, you are not alone. I know first-hand how difficult it is to find a balance between your career and family life. Although I was fortunate enough to grow closer to my family during the pandemic — even while launching My Life Couch — I know everyone else may not have had the same journey. Below are some common problems you may face as a working parent during the pandemic. There are also some possible solutions that will make it easier for you to navigate while working from home with the kids.
You Don’t Make Your Mental Health a Top Priority
One of the easiest ways to sabotage your relationship with your kids and partner is to neglect your mental health. Therefore, your mental health should be your top priority. Although it can be tempting to continue putting off a day of rest to do just one more thing, it can eventually lead to many mental and emotional problems in the long term.
When was the last time you did something for yourself? Personally, I love my daily hour-long breaks! Sometimes I read a book, sometimes I dance, and other days I simply do nothing but rest. Going outside for a short walk sometimes can also be very beneficial for your family relationships. I highly recommend that you add breaks into your daily routine. You will have more time to recharge your batteries and focus on yourself. Do your best to take off your problem-solving hat and stop seeing yourself only as a wife, mom, sister, and employee. You can also schedule an appointment with a mental health professional or life coach if you need a safe space to talk.
You’re Too Hard on Yourself
Let’s face it. We’re living in unprecedented times. If you’re still trying to hold yourself to the same standards as before the pandemic — please stop! As parents, we have to adjust our expectations due to the current circumstances. I know it’s not easy but try to give yourself a little grace to make mistakes. It is okay if you are not as productive as you would typically be if you worked in a traditional office.
Kids, especially if you have young kids like mine, demand a lot of attention and constant supervision. One day you may need to spend more time tending to them, while you may find yourself making work your main focus the next. Don’t beat yourself up if you have to work late or on the weekends sometimes to complete a project. We need to accept that we are imperfect human beings. There are going to be some days where you aren’t a super mom or parent, and you have to be okay with that!
You Don’t Speak Up
The primary way parents can harm their relationship with their family is by not communicating their needs. Your circumstances can improve so much quicker if you speak up and express what you’re going through and ask other people for help.
Think about the parts of your life that cause frustration or make you feel worn out. Reach out to your support system and tell them about your struggles. You’d be surprised how many other people are in the same boat and could help you out. For example, you could ask a family member to babysit or talk with your employer and see if you could get a more flexible schedule that works better for your family. Even if it is not a long-term solution, it could help reduce a significant amount of stress. Or you could ask your work colleagues if they would be willing to help out with some of your projects.
Seek Help
Many working moms feel guilty when it comes to asking for help. There could even be a feeling of shame and failure associated with being helped. Because we are conditioned to think we should be able to do it all. Perfectly and with a smile. When we take a second to think about it, that isn’t really fair or even realistic, is it? After all, asking for help especially if it’s for a specific set of tasks shows that you know yourself. It also shows that you understand your strengths fairly well and what you may need assistance on.
For the married working mom, the first choice is often the spouse. I hear some moms’ frustration about helping with the chores at home or the children, but it should be a given and not a request for help. I know that every couple’s dynamics are different. So choose what makes sense for your family in terms of support. Working as a team, communication and empathy are my recommendations as go-to tools to ask and offer support as and to a spouse.
Help can be what you define and agree upon, as an hour of doing whatever takes you to your happy place without chores and kids. It could be alternating chores instead of always having the same spouse doing the same chores etc. The point is, don’t hesitate to ask for help when you have a lot on your plate. With help sorted or hired, you can focus on yourself, your mental health and therefore create a happy environment for yourself, your kids, and your family.
Conclusion
I know it’s not easy to constantly spend so much time with family, even when you adore them. As a life coach, I believe that making your mental health a top priority, reaching out to your network for help, and giving yourself some extra grace are some of the best ways you can prevent harming your relationship with your children. One of the main reasons why I founded My Life Couch was because I am passionate about creating a safe space for working moms who want to rediscover what brings them joy and learn how to put themselves first.
I hope the article helped you to understand how to balance your priorities. We look forward to your valuable comments!
Originally published at https://momscove.com on October 27, 2021.
