Reclaiming Midnight: Understanding Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
The one (side) effect of parenthood that no one speaks about
Last night, like most of my recent nights, I spent catching up on my favorite TV show, devouring that last piece of strawberry cheesecake that I’d been resisting since morning, and then mindlessly scrolling through Instagram reels.
And then one reel stood out, talking about the “bed-time procrastination” phenomenon, which apparently is very common among parents, especially the new parents. I was intrigued — and so, the researcher in me started digging out more information online, and there it was. It’s called “revenge bed-time procrastination.”
I went through numerous articles online and concluded that I am also going through this phase of bedtime procrastination, all in the name of having some “me time.”
I have always been a morning person, that is, until motherhood. Waking up early and getting started for the day feels like a distant reality; these days, we snooze alarms and pretty much wake up when or just before the baby wakes up. And then the guilt hits — why did I have to stay up so late last night?
Once emotions have settled down and are under control, then the motivation hits — tonight, I’ll sleep early, wake up early tomorrow, and stick to this routine; I’m sure I can do it. And then, the clock hits 7 PM, and all I can think of is how I am going to reward myself with some “me time” after the usual bedtime routine because, as always, I have literally had zero time for myself throughout the day. The vicious cycle continues.
So, what changed yesterday? Why am I so concerned?
The articles clearly indicate what the side effects of revenge bedtime procrastination are, both mentally and physically, as well as on our parenting style. Due to the continuous lack of sleep, we become easily agitated, and moody, undergo hormonal imbalance (which actually also increases appetite, hence the cheesecake earlier!), and it goes on to impact our memory and decision-making skills.
Honestly, I’m not that surprised; we all know what lack of sleep can do to our bodies. I’m just amazed at how okay I’d become with it because sleeping late had just become a norm for me, I was not really putting much effort into fixing it.
So, are there ways to fix it? Hell, yeah!
First things first, we need to recognize the “why” in order to fix it. For me, it was easy — my daytime left me literally no time for myself, not just because I have a toddler but also because I’m working from home and freelancing on the side (mostly weekends). So, I’m always overwhelmed by how much I have to do in a day that I don’t really sit and take those 30 minutes out for myself.
I had already mentioned in my previous article how I’m taking a “step back” to embrace my present and not worry about the future, and essentially try and relax in whichever ways I can. That perfectly ties in with this. I need to stop worrying, start condensing my to-do’s, and focus on what really needs to be completed that day — everything else can wait.
I’m also working towards having my “me time” during the daytime instead of the night.
I really don’t need hours and hours at night; just 30 to 45 minutes in the morning having my coffee in the quiet and reading a novel, or maybe even journaling (I’ve heard it really helps), should suffice.
I need to get up and have my lunch away from my home office desk — I can spare 30 minutes of lunch for myself.
I need to limit my screen time — being on my laptop the whole day, then Netflix, and then Instagram, is clearly doing a number on me.
In our daily hustles and the societal pressures of “doing it all” and “being the perfect spouse and parent,” we overlook certain things that affect us. And, as we continue to overlook certain things, they soon become a normal practice, and it stops bothering us — until it does.
It’s good to sometimes step back and evaluate ourselves as a person and our day-to-day doings and how we can improve or work on a few things. There’s always room to learn, rectify, and grow. We just need to recognize and actually work towards fixing it.
So, here’s to buckling up, waking up bright and early, and hitting the hay at the right hour! 🥂
