Year One: Paper. I’m a Better Person and Just Realized it.
Have you ever put on pants or a jacket, and reached into the pocket and to your delightful surprise, find an unexpected $20 bill?
That moment came to me recently but it wasn’t a crisp $20 bill that I found in my pocket. I have been married for a year now, and I realized that I am a better person than I used to be. I’m not really sure exactly when it happened, but much like finding a $20 bill in my pocket, I was surprised with who I have become. I feel more engaged with life than before. I can correlate it to a few things like reading and writing more, having a better career, and being more self aware. With all the good things that have been happening this year, I came into a self actualization that my life is really good - because of my wife and our marriage. There is a direct correlation to my happiness and well-being because of my wife.
I am not here to brag about how awesome my wife is, because this article is more about how being married to her has made me a better person.
Now, as you know from my other stories, life has punched me in the face a couple times, and I have bounced back to normal form. And normal is ok, but if I have had sad periods in life, isn’t it natural to have great periods of life as well?
I recently shared about the time when I was 19 and broke my face. I was so busy with doctors appointments and school that year, that just tying to get back into my normal life was exhausting for me. At the end of the year, I was back to my normal self, and as I looked back upon the year, I realized that I was depressed for many months. I didn’t know I was depressed at the time because I had not really felt depression before then.
So now the opposite has happened…
Which brings me to where I am now in life. I am doing better than normal — I am content. I have a self awareness to feel the good in my life and know its going well.
I know some people say that I am just in the honeymoon phase, and that is the reason is why I feel so good. But the truth is that my life has improved in many areas.
First, lets look at how to become a better person:
Break bad habits, understand yourself better and be real about what you want in life. Do the things that create progress to what you really want, and don’t do the things that take you away from it.
Easier said than done. And I am not saying that being married will cause these things. I am just aware of my own life improving.
Here is the areas my life has improved:
- Less stressed
- More creative
- Better relationships
- More focused in my work
- Feeling more loved
- More engaged in life
Jenn is a great listener (she’s also a middle school counselor) and able to take it all in, reflect and then use wisdom about what she says in reaction. I appreciate that about her. It’s like all the little worries about money, what to cook, and family have been minimized somehow.
I love bouncing my ideas off of her. She will either tell me that it’s ridiculous or that it will work and here’s what it should look like. She is also giving me new ideas of things to create. She has give me inspiration on what to write about. Our wedding was a great kickoff to our cumulative creativity on design and style.
This one was a little tough. I decided that if I was going to become a better person, I had to spend less time with those who were taking too much of my emotional energy, and spend more time with people who give me emotional energy. My relationship with our daughter has improved too — not that it was bad, but I better understand her and what she needs from me as a father. Jenn brings a lot of love into the family and has connected us better than before. We have a lot more Forced Family Fun (FFF).
More Focused in My Work:
I started my new career in real estate 2 months before we got married, and I have really enjoyed my work. I have added to the basic sales part of the job by writing, creating a website, and implementing a scheduling software. Jenn and Kaylee have helped to post ads when it was busy. I have also enjoyed the best financial year in my life. I would probably work late every night but more importantly I have a family to spend time with. This has helped me to be strict with my time and tell people that they need to see an apartment during daytime hours.
Feeling More Loved:
Part of the reason for me being a better person, is that I have a mountain of love coming from Jenn, that in turn gives me a confident warmth that I put out into the world. I think that I am gregarious in nature, but if someone met me for the first time, and then knew how much Jenn loved me, that person would not be surprised.
More Engaged in Life:
What this means is that life is more interesting now. I have someone who enjoys the things I do and hearing about them. It goes the same for me — I am interested in her life. We engage with each other everyday, and therefore all the things in my life are more alive.
I said this wasn’t going to be an article about my wife, but it really is. She is a very smart, sexy, person who is very interesting and great to be around. She is a dedicated and passionate middle school counselor. So, if you don’t clap for this article at least clap for her. My life is better because of her.
Behind every better man, is a betterest wife.
P.S. Keep checking your pockets for those $20 bills.