A Letter To My Neurotypical Daughter on Her Birthday
I love you and I’m sorry
Dear Charlotte,
It’s hard to believe that eight years ago you were born. I’ll never forget that day. I’m sure eight years feels like a really long time but it feels like a blink of an eye for me. I write this letter to you today knowing that you won’t read it, at least not anytime soon.
I wanted to write to you to say that I am sorry.
When I first found out that your sister Caroline had a disability, I read a lot of articles online written by parents and experts. I distinctly remember one of the articles recommending that parents of a child with a disability should have another child. That may seem a little crass to some people, but I understood what the author meant.
Of course, when I had you I was just beginning to feel something in my gut that told me that something was going on with Caro. The timing wasn’t great because I had no idea what hit me by having a toddler and an infant, let alone a toddler with behavior problems and an infant.
Your first days and years on this planet were equally beautiful and terrible for me. I took so much joy in watching you grow and develop, in some ways, because you were very different from your sister. Caro took her time to walk and become active. She…
