Happy birthday! Here’s your mask.
The gift I don’t want to give my toddler.
My little person was born twenty-four months ago. The pandemic reached us nineteen months ago. Therefore, when masking became the norm, my five month old was exempt. While all of us practicing social distancing and increased hand washing, only the over two’s had to don face coverings.
I thought he would never have to wear a mask.
I felt for the parents trying to keep masks on their three, five, & eight year olds. But it seemed the majority of the complaining came from the adults.
Sure he saw us wear them. And family, friends, strangers. To him it was no different than wearing a hat, or pants for that matter.
Adults would look at him and want to play peekaboo with their mask. “Oh that poor thing, he must be scared of them!”
Nope.
Not even the slightest.
Totally normal.
And maybe that is the sad part; that masks are normal to him.
We mostly chose the isolation route. We didn’t want to take unnecessary risks with our infant, so we kept our distance. In the beginning, it was from pretty much everyone. Then we slowly expanded our circle of people we trust. Do you know how hard it is to raise a child with no breaks? Yeah, we needed a circle.
I don’t like wearing a mask. I was happy to get vaccinated. I, again naively, thought others would be, too. Protect ourselves and our loved ones? Be able to see my friends again? Feel less anxiety? Sign me up!
I hoped he would never have to wear a mask.
The more people who are vaccinated, the safer it is to take my kid out. My kid who can’t be vaccinated yet. My kid who is getting all of his other vaccines. My kid, whose reaction to Covid-19 could be nothing, or could be deadly. Or could cause unknown side effects down the road. Or who could infect his immunocompromised family members.
Every parent I know has had to make hard decisions. Who to see? Who do we trust that is taking appropriate precautions? Calculating the risk/reward is different for each person.
Did you just go through years of fertility treatment? I respect your zero risk policy.
You think this is a hoax and you are invincible? We cannot see you right now.
Me, I fall somewhere in between.
Perhaps if I wasn’t battling mental demons, I may have gone full recluse. But the scale in my mind leaned ever so slightly toward taking some physical risks to save my mental sanity. I never thought we’d be here, 19 months later.
And you know what? As my little one turns two, I am angry.
I am angry that he has to wear a mask.
I’m angry that my little one has to grow up in a world so divided.
I’m angry that a public health crisis has become a political statement.
I’m angry that we can’t hear each other anymore.
I’m tired of having these conversations, these thoughts, these worries.
I acknowledge that not everyone will get vaccinated, and thats just a fact. But I really hoped the majority of those able to, would do so, so that my toddler wouldn’t have to wear a mask.
I want to move on.
But until our divided, confused, mislead country can agree on something, unfortunately he’ll be receiving a mask on his birthday.
