I Work To Be The Best Mom I Can Be

Love yourself and you’ll be a happier person.

I think it goes without saying that being a mom is hard work. There have been countless days when I have felt like a failure, told myself I wasn’t cut out to be a mom, and wanted to throw in the towel.

But where do I throw the towel?

The bad days seem to go on and just engulf you till it feels like they are all you’ve ever known. It’s quicksand and getting out of it is hard. But is it necessary? Of course it is. And how do I know that? Because being in the quicksand was a revelation in itself for me.

It’s a cycle.

You feel bad about yourself, and then you feel worse. Then you start hating yourself because you feel worse. This affects your home, your kids, and you get antsy and angry and react to everything, and then you feel bad again for being a bad mom.

Only one change needs to be made to break this crazy wheel of deplorable behavior:

Self Love

Yep, it’s that simple. Love yourself and you’ll be a happier person. Trust me, I’ve tried it. But since personalities differ, so do love languages. And the love language that I have for myself is work.

I keep myself busy with things that make me feel like an individual, beyond being a mom. I am a designer, a writer, a collage artist, a poet; and all of these in any combination, help me stay sane. I don’t have a set time for this, I work throughout the day while going about my home chores.

No, my kids are not neglected. Yes, I do play with them. I might have a phone in close proximity but it doesn’t mean I don’t pay attention to my two little cyclones.

“Oh but why do you do so much?”

I do all this to be a better mom. Me exploring my creative side, and trying to achieve professional goals at the same time boosts my spirits. So when I’m engaging with my kids, there is zero resentment, there is nothing else I could be doing at that time to validate my own personal feelings. It helps me be emotionally available for my family.

But do I get judged for it?

Of course, I do. I have heard offhanded comments about how kids need a mother’s time, not her instagram posts, from people who don’t even know how I spend my day. I have had people tell me my son’s speech delay was because I work too much (that hurt).

But I didn’t let it stop me. Nor should you. Find your love language and speak it to yourself.