My Son: The 3-Year-Old Shoplifter

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

It’s my fault.

The lesson is that only idiots go to a toy shop with a three-year-old.

I thought it would be fun. We haven’t been shopping together much with Covid and avoiding shops. I thought we could browse and enjoy looking at some toys together…

It wasn’t like that. It was ‘can we buy this ?’ and pointing at the most giant plastic noisy toy, ‘No’, ‘This one’, ‘No’.

‘I want to buy this’. Press button. Nee naw. ‘No’. ‘Careful, don’t touch, you’ll knock those over’

Repeat repeat.

‘Let’s go home. We’ll come back and buy something another day.’

Head to the door. He runs back into the shop. ‘Buy something’. Then tries to head out of the shop with a toy London bus. This happens not once but twice. I consider buying it. I would have if it had been cheaper.

I eventually carry him out of the shop as he tries to wriggle free crying.

Later we go to a vacuum shop with a toy vacuum cleaner. My son hoovers the shop floor beautifully, but when we are ready to leave he wants to take the vacuum home. We say no it’s not for sale. He makes a run for it and runs out of the shop with it in his hands.