Please Write Down Your Child’s Funny Observations Before You Forget
Kids say the funniest things without even trying to be funny. But if you don’t write them down, will you remember them?
A friend of mine once shared with me, “I write down funny things my partner says all the time. She has some of the most unintentionally hilarious comments and observations!”
Once she told me this, I realized I wanted to do this for my kids as they also have unintentionally funny observations. Sometimes they don’t even understand why I’m roaring with laughter!
I started to jot them down on my phone, which I almost always have nearby. My big regret is that I didn’t start it earlier when my eldest child was less self-conscious. Most of this list features comments from my youngest child as I can’t recall the funny comments my eldest made when she was younger.
Now that they’re older, my kids like to read them, too, and laugh at their childlike innocence.
I didn’t usually write down the date, but most of these are when my youngest was under 5 years old.
Child 2: “I have hair on my legs.”
Mommy: “Really? What color are they — black?”
Child 2: “No, they’re white. I think I’m becoming a mammal!”
Child 2: “I’m cold. I need to warm up.”
Mommy: “Why don’t you get a jacket?”
Child 2 walks over to snuggle with me and says: “You warm me up faster with all your fat.”
Child 2: “I want to be a vegetarian. I like animals and don’t want to kill them.”
Mommy: “OK, but that means no chicken, pork, beef, or crab.”
Child 2: [long pause as she loves crab] “Ok I won’t eat any animals with hair.”
Daddy: “What’s Mommy doing?”
[Note that I was napping in bed and had just started to walk over toward them.]
Child 2: “She’s done resting. She’s ready to go on the couch.”
Mommy: “Why is your underwear over here on your desk? Is it dirty?”
Child 2: “No, it’s clean, but it’s protecting my stuff because the bad spirits won’t like it.”
We were debating whether the kids and I should join my husband when he goes to meet with some of his college friends for dinner. I was reluctant (since they’re childless friends) but the kids wanted to eat at that restaurant.
Child 1: “We could just go in separate cars and Mommy, [Child 2], and I could go to a different table and just be like, ‘We don’t know this weird guy!’” [as she gestures toward Daddy]
We’re watching the Olympic synchronized swimming competition. I am marveling at how incredible these athletes are when Child 2 nonchalantly replies, “I don’t think it’s real.”
Child 2 has chocolate ice cream on her face and I point it out to her. I also remind her to use her napkin frequently when she’s eating messy food.
Mommy: “One of these days, you’re going to be embarrassed to have food on your face.”
Child 2: “Not this day.”
Child 2: “I have dirt between my fingers.”
Child 2: “I mean my foot fingers.”
Mommy: “Your toes?!?”
Everyone cracks up with laughter.
Mommy is dropping the girls off at school.
Mommy: “Have a nice day. I love you. I’ll pick you up later!”
Sleepy Child 2: “Pick you up later!”
I immediately started laughing, which helps her realize that what she just said was not what she intended to say. It’s become our go-to phrase instead of “I love you.”
Both kids left a small mess in the kitchen after serving themselves leftovers.
Mommy: “Girls, you need to clean up after yourselves. You won’t always have your mother to clean up after you.”
Child 2: “But then we’ll have our husbands.”
Child 2 tackles Daddy for a hug while he’s seated. He says, “Oh, shoulder to the throat? Really?”
Child 2: “I will be like Teen Groot one day. Enjoy it while it lasts!”
[Yes, she watched a lot of Marvel movies at a young age and was 8 when she watched Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.]
We are having one of our “car conversations” that involve talking about awkward topics. Mommy explains that Johnson and Wang are terms that can refer to a man’s penis.
Child 2 immediately blurts out: “I’d hate to be someone named Johnson Wang.”
I’m chuckling anew as I copy these down here. I hope they made you laugh, too, and inspire you to take notes when children (or other loved ones) share funny remarks.