We Should Talk More Openly About Childbirth

Here’s why

With my son, soon after he was born

Movies and television shows often follow similar narratives when portraying labor and childbirth. The sequence of events goes something like this: The pregnant woman pauses in the middle of whatever she’s doing as liquid gushes out beneath her. She announces that her water just broke. Immediately, contractions begin. Cue the panic. Everyone around her scrambles to get her to the hospital because the baby is obviously coming. Right. Now.

Cut to the next scene. The woman is clutching the sides of a hospital bed, writhing in pain. She looks almost demonic as she clenches her teeth and curses her partner for putting her in this position in the first place. As she leans forward to push, hair matted to her forehead from sweat, doctors and nurses tell her she’s doing great. Between pushes, she leans back, rolls her head, and laments “I can’t do this!” Then, the doctor announces, “I see the baby. Give me one last push.” She gathers all her energy and leans forward for the crescendo.

Teary-eyed but smiling, the woman reaches out for her newborn. She pulls the bundle close, reflecting on the miracle in her hands.

I was in labor for 15 hours before realizing it — partly because my labor began five weeks before my due date, so I convinced myself that I was having Braxton-Hicks’s…