Beholding The Fractures To Face My Ghost
Kintsugi Dairy — 3
In the Kintsugi experience I participated earlier, I did not take enough time to pay attention to the fractures of the broken ceramic bowl that I planned to mend. This is one of the steps in the experience. However, now I realise how significant it is to take time alone to reflect on the broken pieces long enough to meet my Ghost. That is right, my Ghost. “Ghost” is movie speak for something in your character’s past that haunts him.
What haunts you today?
The Mountain Retreat experience, where I facilitate the Kintsugi workshop, is like a story workshop that helps you rediscover your personal story. Why story? Because great stories help the character to transform.
Typically, the protagonist starts one way (believing a lie), learns some lessons throughout the story (finds the truth) and ends in a (probably) better place. So putting myself in a great story could transform my real life in some positive ways.
You may ask why the protagonist believes a Lie in the first place? To find the answer, we need to look for something ghostly in the character’s past! Ghost can also be referred to as ‘wound’ which is often something shocking and traumatic part of your character’s backstory. It could be a broken relationship, the death of a loved one, abuse, a missing father, the offence caused by the character, etc.
In the movie Finding Nemo, The Ghost that haunted Marlin is the death of his wife Coral and most of his children in a barracuda attack. This deeply traumatic event shapes his perspective on life. The lie Marlin believes is that controlling Nemo’s life is the only way to ensure his safety and prevent another tragedy from happening.
All stories do not reveal the Ghost because the problem is not the Ghost itself but the lie it tells. Lies can take different shapes and colours according to the story, but deep inside they hold a core belief. For example “Might makes right”, “Your only worth is in being famous”, “No one is trustworthy”, “The weak must always submit to the strong”, “Money is to be treasured more than people”, etc. The symptoms of these Lies are visible in the character’s life like fear, bitterness, guilt, discontent, arrogance etc.
Therefore, all my pursuit in life is often what I want which is my perceived cure for the symptoms of the Lie. Sadly I will not recognise this until it fails me.
When Marlin fails in all his pursuits to find Nemo he discovers the truth in the belly of the whale, where he is told that he needs to let go of his fear and trust in Nemo’s strength and ability to navigate the world. There he surrenders to the truth. He miraculously comes out of the whale and eventually meets Nemo.
Makoto Fujimura says, “Kintsugi is the art of beholding. It allows us to see the landscape through the fractures and helps us imagine the oncoming beauty.”
The Kintsugi experience points to the truth that the brokenness caused by the Lie could be restored to something more beautiful. If I choose to believe the truth I can face my Ghost with courage to reject its lies. Therefore this time of reflection as I stare at this broken ceramic bowl can be transformative.
“History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” — Maya Angelou
