How To Buy A Baby Interview: Wendy Litner
“Feminism is important to my filmmaking because our stories matter and stories about our lives and our health and our bodies and our relationships matter.”
It’s one thing to decide you’re ready—financially, emotionally, mentally—to start a family but something we don’t talk about enough is when you’re ready but your body isn’t. What happens when you want a baby but your body is all “nahhhhhhhhhhh”?
Infertility is scary, stressful and, most unfairly, shameful. Wendy Litner channeled all of this when creating her most excellent series How To Buy A Baby. Season one (which is on CBC Gem right this second so obviously you’re going to watch it if you haven’t already) follows couple Jane and Charlie as they navigate through the ups and downs of fertility treatments. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions that will have you laughing one second, cringing another, and flat out bawling at the end.
Season two shifts focus to the just-as-uncertain world of adoption and promises to be just as funny as the first. Even better: it launches on CBC Gem on August 23 — yes, today!!!!!
We had the chance to chat with Wendy about her inspiration for the show, women in film who inspire her, and the best thing that happened to her last week.
Tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got involved with filmmaking.
Wendy Litner: I’m actually a recovering lawyer. My entire life, I always wanted to be a writer but wanting to write, as a profession, seemed like wanting to be an astronaut. My mother was extremely influential in my going to law school and when she passed away after my first year, I realized that you have to do what you love. Or at least try to do what you love. After a few years practicing on Bay Street, my courage and career shift happened in baby steps: taking adult education courses in television writing, starting a blog long after blogs were cool, freelance writing. I was lucky enough to become story coordinator on the Beaverton (on CTV) and then a writer. I wrote the pilot for How to Buy a Baby for Women on Screen, an incubator run by incredible women, who helped me believe I could make the show. With the help of the IPF, the CBC, Bell Media and Telus Fund, How to Buy a Baby is the first thing I have ever created.
Tell us about HOW TO BUY A BABY. Where did the idea come from?
WL: When my husband and I were first diagnosed with infertility, I was awash in a sea of pregnancy announcements. Though 1 in 6 Canadians struggle with infertility, it seemed like every single person I knew was expecting. I started writing blog posts and articles for the Huffington Post and Today’s Parent about struggling to conceive and ultimately making peace with our decision to stop pursuing infertility treatments. I was so overwhelmed with the feedback and support I got from people all over the world and I wanted to give voice to our collective pain so others knew they were not alone.
You injected (lol) a lot of humour into what is an incredibly painful process for couples. Did you always know you wanted to do something funny with infertility?
WL: I come from a long line of very funny matriarchs who always handled pain with comedy. I mean, it is heartbreaking trying to make a baby in a doctor’s office, but to me it is also deeply funny and awkward and surreal. It’s awkward to have your partner give you an ass injection (what’s the most flattering angle?); it’s awkward having someone look inside your vagina every morning (does mine look like all the others!?); it’s awkward to give a sperm sample (what porn did my husband look at to try and make our baby!?); it’s awkward telling friends and family what you are going through. In going through it, I tried really hard not be consumed by the pain of it all and instead find the funny. Infertility is deeply painful to be sure. But I have also seen the humour and the humanity and the sheer love of it all, in trying to become a parent with the person you love the most.
What has the response been like since season one premiered last year?
WL: The response has been overwhelmingly positive, and I could cry just writing about. I am so grateful to receive messages from people all over the world who have shared their stories with me. People have told me that they shared the series with their friends and family and found it to be a good vehicle for talking with them about infertility. I am so happy to hear this-going through infertility and trying to adopt is hard enough and people should feel the support of their loved ones. I wanted others to know that they are not alone in their pain and feel honoured to have become part of an incredibly resilient community.
Season one was a rollercoaster: laughter, hope, stress, tears (I cried at the end, literally). What can we expect for Season two?
WL: More laughter, hope, stress, and tears! Season one followed Jane and Charlie through a round of in vitro fertilization (IVF). Season two picks up with them some time in the future where they have now decided to move on from their biology and pursue adoption. When struggling to conceive, so many couples hear “why don’t you just adopt.” Except there is no “just” in adopting. There are home inspections and background checks and financial checks and social welfare checks and references and parenting classes and so much loss and trauma involved for so many people. Adoption is an incredibly complicated issue and season two tells the very human story of just one hopeful adoptive couple who has so much love to give and want a child to share it with. Marc Bendavid and Meghan Heffern are brilliant and funny and sweet and mournful, and I hope so much you love it!
Can you tell us about some/all of the other amazing women who worked on this project?
WL: This project is full of the most incredible women who inspire me as a person and as a creator, so this is going to be a long one!
Season two was directed by the one and only Adriana Maggs. I fell in love with Adriana the moment I met her. Is there anything better than falling in creative love?! Adriana is breathtakingly talented and able to zone in on the truth and the emotional core of every single scene. She brings tremendous passion and keen insight with so much tenderness. Adriana’s film Grown Up Movie Star was so pivotal for me and her current feature, Goalie, has her signature raw humanity. She has been an idol of mine for so long and it was a gift to work with her. I have asked her to please adopt me now as a Maggs sister! I treasure her.
Season one was directed by the formidable Molly McGlynn. Molly is fearlessly brilliant. Her award winning first feature film, Mary Goes Round, has been beloved by critics and audiences alike. It is so moving and so darkly funny and just has this big, beating heart. Molly is a totem of strength and has taught me how to be courageous in my vulnerability. I am forever grateful to her for the example she sets and for her friendship.
Lauren Corber is my co-executive producer. We met in law school where we dreamed of retiring to a more creative field so it’s an extra treat to be making this with her. Lauren is a digital maven and can juggle so many different tasks at once it’s head spinning. She is also a perfectionist and I am continually blown away by her attention to detail. She encourages me to trust my instincts and has literally held my hand in my darker moments of worry. I am grateful for her tireless work on How To Buy A Baby, for championing the series, and for being a loving friend any time of day or night.
Meghan Heffern stars as Jane and brings it in every single take. From having to get fake ass injections in season one to trying to filming season two in a polar vortex, Meghan is a paragon of loveliness and perfection. Meghan has also been a huge supporter of the series off screen and I am grateful for her boundless energy and support.
Writer/firecracker Nicole Saltz helped story edit my scripts and really pushed me to examine my characters. She has a deep understanding of story and is also hilariously funny. She is bursting with ideas and will no doubt continue to create incredible things. She was the inaugural Micki Moore Screenwriting Resident at TIFF and is now a script consultant for the 2019 Writers’ Studio. She is well versed in archetypes and mythology and has taught me so much about these important topics while making me laugh.
I also need to give a special shout out to actress Emma Hunter who is so beyond talented and incredible. Emma filmed both season one and season two while very pregnant (and still hopped up on a stool for multiple takes!). She is a force of nature. I can’t get enough of her on and off the screen and I am so grateful that she was a part of the series.
In addition to these incredible women, there are so many others who made this series what it is. Composer Aimee Bessada has written some of the most beautiful and original music that I feel like she must draw it out straight from her incredible heart. Production Designer, Danielle Sahota is a genius and miracle worker, so is Rabab Ali our Art Director. Mara Zigler was our costume designer on season one and Judith Ann Clancy on season two-they both brought so much life and colour and quirk to the wardrobe. I don’t know when Jamie McCormick, Lauren’s assistant, Cynthia Graves, our Production Manager, and Andrea Nesbitt, our Production Cooridnator, slept.
Of course there were incredible men as well, but it is really special working with so many women you admire.
Tell us about why you are a feminist and why it’s important to your filmmaking.
WL: Why isn’t everybody a feminist!? I remember as a 15-year old and hearing Hilary Clinton’s speech at the United Nations Fourth World Conference on Women where she said, “Women’s rights are human rights” and it changed me and the way I thought about myself and my power. People want to be seen. Fertility and the ability to have a baby has somehow become so entwined with our sense of femininity and I hope to show through this series that it’s not the case. We are more than our ovaries and we are more than our ability to conceive. We are more than mothers and aunts and daughters. Feminism is important to my filmmaking because our stories matter and stories about our lives and our health and our bodies and our relationships matter.
Who are your favourite women working in the film industry?
WL: There are so many women to look up to in the industry. I can’t watch enough things of Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Issa Rae (over and over again) and I can’t stop reading every article about them. But there are so many women in the industry in Canada that I want to celebrate.
I am really inspired by actress/comedian/writer/producer/quadruple threat/ Rakhee Morzaria. Rakhee wrote, starred and produced the amazing web series Note to Self, nominated for a Canadian Screen Award and a Canadian Comedy Award. Rakhee has so much to say and is just a powerhouse.
Director Joyce Wong is absolutely sensational. Her feature Wexford Plaza is beautiful, and relatable and, haunting and her hybrid doc/drama Camera Test is darkly funny and says so much about women and the industry. I think Joyce has a really incredible aesthetic and I admire her and her work so much.
Writer, performer, producer, exceptional human, Marni Van Dyk writes and creates with all her beautiful heart. She is whip smart, hilariously funny, and is able to combine all this with important social commentary!? She brings beauty and meaning to everything she does and her work makes me feel less alone. I hope for the chance to write with her. Also, you should absolutely be following her on Instagram because I take posing tips from her dog.
Natalie Urquhart is a producer with Wildling Pictures and she is so inventive and interesting and kind. I think Natalie has her finger on the pulse of the industry and I really trust her insights. She works incredibly hard and does so with such an amazing spirit. Natalie is full of grit and grace and I feel fortunate to know her.
Women On Screen, created by Farah Merani, Lauren MacKinlay, Ciara Murphy and Natalie Lisinska, helps cultivate inclusive representation of women and fosters their careers. How to Buy a Baby would not exist without them.
I am grateful to have so many amazing women in this industry from whom to seek advice, to talk things through with, and to laugh (and sometimes cry?) with.
What’s the best advice about filmmaking you’ve ever received?
WL: There’s this Rilke quote I go back to over-and-over again about living the questions. He says not to seek the answers because you would not be able to live them yet. The point, he says, is “to live everything.” I find the uncertainty in filmmaking difficult: you are in the thick of it while you’re making something and then all of a sudden you’re not and you’re on the couch in your pajamas with your dog wondering how you ever made anything at all and will you every write another word again. So I tell myself to live those questions. That I have to live the questions now so that gradually I’ll come to an answer. Because I want to live everything. I do.
More practically speaking, this season I learned how not to dress when shooting in winter in Toronto! I did not have the right gear or nearly enough socks and was hilariously unprepared! Even more practically speaking, Molly has an incredible article “Rejection is How You Become A Filmmaker” that is required reading.
What are you working on now/next?
WL: Right now I am excited to start writing for season 3 of the Beaverton. I just love the writers and the cast and crew so much. I feel like I grew up with them as a comedy writer and I love the collaborative nature of the writers’ room. I also love politics and my family can’t tell me to turn off my hundredth hour of CNN while I’m working on the show. It’s homework!
After that I have some ideas for other series with other themes that I am really excited to try writing.
What was the best thing that happened to you this past week?
WL: Okay. So my husband and I took our kids paddle boating and one of them got a little too close looking at the fish and fell in the pond. I jumped in after him fully clothed Baywatch style! The pond faced the patio of this restaurant and I got a standing ovation from the diners for “rescuing” my child. Who was wearing a life jacket. But whatever! I jumped in the pond! My sons were impressed! I am going to take this tiny win and run (or swim?) because it’s the closest to a super hero I am ever going to get!
What’s your good luck charm?
WL: My dearest, sweetest, cat Olympia was my good luck charm and now the memory of her is. Olympia wrote comedy with me in her twilight years. She loved a good cat joke because she had the best sense of humour about herself. Olympia lived with me at 4 different addresses and was there with me the night my mom died. I think she was the first living thing to believe in me and I honestly felt like I could pursue writing because I had her to hold onto. Artist, Jessica Stein, painted a beautiful picture of her for me and now that’s my good luck charm.
Finally, recommend one #MUFFApproved** film for our blog readers!
WL: Adriana Maggs’ Goalie!!
Season two of How To Buy A Baby launches on CBC Gem on August 23—yes, today!!!!!
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