#MUFFListed: 8 Life Lessons Gilmore Girls Taught Me
Where you lead, I will follow.
Created by: Amy Sherman-Palladino
Staring: Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Kelly Bishop, Melissa McCarthy, Keiko Agena, Liza Weil
As one of only a handful of kids in elementary school who were raised in a single parent household, I felt like an outsider. When I went to a friend’s house there always seemed to be so much activity compared to my own. And when I watched TV, I didn’t see many parent-child relationships that mirrored my own. That is until Gilmore Girls came around.
Although my relationship with my own mother never blurred the parent/friend dynamic to the degree that Rory’s did with Lorelai, there were other aspects to their rapport that I definitely connected with. When you’re an only child living with a single parent, you depend on each other emotionally a lot more than you would “normally”. But it was our normal. And it was really important to me when I turned on the television and saw a similar type of mother-daughter relationship to my own.
With the revival of Gilmore Girls on Netflix (called Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life), I feel that it’s important to look back at the original series and the positive lessons that Lorelai, Rory, their friends in Stars Hollow, and even Emily, taught me growing up that I still hold to this day!
1. No one’s perfect…
Especially your parents. It’s a hard thing to realize, even as you grow up to be an adult. What matters is that they’re trying and have your best interest at heart. And that’s not always gonna be what you want or need, but that doesn’t mean there’s malicious intent to their work. They’re as flawed as everyone else on the Earth.
2. Take pride in your work.
Be Rory with her school work. Be Lorelai with the Dragonfly Inn. Be Sookie with her cooking. Be Lane with her music. Be Paris and Emily with their everything! One of the things I adore about Gilmore Girls is that everyone, especially the women in the show, love what they do and there’s no shame in that. No one is a nerd or a dork — just people with passions.
3. Food is a building block for every movie marathon night. Or any day ever, really.
Lorelai and Rory definitely don’t have the healthiest diets, but they love food and I respect that. Healthy or not, I continue to feel it’s great to have women on TV talk about food as a necessity to their lives rather than a burden to their waistlines. During my own marathon movie nights with family or friends, there was no guilt when it came to junk food; that’s not how the Gilmores do it.
4. Drama happens and sometimes you can’t stop it.
Shit, unfortunately, happens. It can’t be stopped sometimes — no matter how hard you micromanage. There will always be outside forces at work that you can’t control and sometimes you get sucked into the vortex. There will always be a Francie climbing the social ladder, friends like Paris who stress you out, or even love triangles (gasp). When drama does start, just be honest — hopefully that’ll ease the emotional burn.
5. Never back down.
Both Lorelai and Rory receive a lot resentment because of who they are — for being an unwed mother at the age of sixteen, or being her daughter. The judgement never seems to stop. But they never let those people affect them because they’re stronger together than any words people slung at them. Even young, meek Rory would stand up when she felt passionate about something, especially when it came to her family and friends.
6. Obscure references will help you in the future.
Gilmore Girls has its own language. It’s most known for the ridiculously fast-pace talking, but the references were equally important. How else are you gonna figure out if you liked someone if they didn’t get a deep cut joke? References are how the Girls connect to each other and outsiders, and I definitely took that page out of their book while growing up.
(Re-watching Gilmore Girls as I’ve gotten older, I get way more of the references that went over my head as a kid. I’M COOL NOW!)
7. You’re Life Plan™ may change, and that’s okay.
I never loved in season 5 and 6 when Rory left school and moved in with her grandparents, and all she did was work at the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution, for those not waspy/in the know). It’s a very boring chunk of episodes. But as someone in university who has taken time away from education to focus on my personal life and self, I now know it’s a very real part for some people. Sometimes you’re not gonna go to your dream school like Paris, or graduate in four years, or even with the same major you enrolled in. That’s OKAY! What matters is that you find and do what you love.
8. Blood is thicker than water, but water runs deeper.
The proverb “blood is thicker than water” is often misinterpreted in many of its translations. What it really means is that the relationships we choose to forge and maintain are the strongest. Sookie and Lane were just as much a part of Lorelai and Rory’s lives as Emily for a reason — those bonds were nurtured and valued, and measured up to “family” standards. Who you choose to be with can be more important than blood relations.
