Here I Go Again
Some days my solitude is my only company. And sometimes even my solitude is nowhere to be found. Upon sodden trails I tread, my thoughts my only friends. They wander across the landscape of my mind in the same way my feet carry me through this natural highway. The secret to running long distances is to forget that you are running.
“And here I go again on my own…”
Trees and trails flow hazily through my vision. The only reason my eyes stay open is to avoid running into the timber giants or roll my ankle upon one the natural stone traps that lay hidden below the carpet of decaying leaves. My nostrils fill with the scent of decomposing nature. The fall air is crisp and cool; my lungs rejoice with every breath.
“…going down the only road I’ve ever known.”
But my mind is captive to the list of work I need to finish before the week is through. The papers, the readings, the projects. I quicken my pace as if making my body hurt more will help clear my head. Pain is no stranger to a runner. Newer runners think the more they run the less it hurts. They’re wrong. Your body does adapt, but it doesn’t hurt any less. It’s your mind that adapts. Make pain your friend and you will never be lonely.
“Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone.”
A rustling in the leaves distracts me from my thoughts. I always assume the worst first: a wolf, a serial killer, a bear… Neil always claims it’s a snake when I run with him. It’s strange how big squirrels can sound when leaves cover the ground. But now I can’t stop thinking about how alone in the woods I really am. If a runner is attacked in the woods and nobody is there to here him scream, does he still make a sound?
“And I’ve made up my mind…”
It seems that most adults tend to lose the ability to dream somewhere along the way. Maybe that’s why the best stories are those where the heroes fully give themselves to their dream; they have done what so many of us have failed to do. But what if happiness isn’t found in the striving for great things? What if the greatest thing is to be happy with what you have been blessed with? What happens to the heroes when their story ends?
“…I ain’t wasting no more time.”
My mind’s autopilot setting starts to fail as my legs begin to tire. It looks as if the time for daydreaming has officially come to an end. If only I could run and never grow tired; if only I could daydream for hours without coming back to reality. But life is not a dream. Life is here and now and if you live in a hypothetical future you’ll miss the most important things in life. This is where I am, and this is what I am doing.
“Here I go again…”
