Presenting a united front
As parents, I think the most important thing we can do for our kids is to present a united front.
Those little monsters will not hesitate to pit us against one another by going behind mom’s back to ask dad for the thing mom just said no to.
It is important that we agree somewhat on what reasonable rules are for our children, but the MOST important thing is to back your partner up when she has made a decree. That kind of stability is so important for kids to see. It creates a secure environment when mom and dad are working together.
It tears at the fabric of our relationship when we cannot trust one another to uphold the rules that we have devised. One partner undermining the other causes the most damage to your partnership.
This is another instance when communication is key. If one partner is at work all day and she has a lot of restrictions on device time, she has to make sure her partner is on board with that if he is stuck at home all day enforcing those restrictions.
It can be tempting to let something slide when you’re one-on-one with the kids because it’s nice to be the good guy — to be the fun parent. But it’s more important to be the good guy to your partner.
We have to be a team, and sometimes, sadly, it is US — mom and dad versus THEM — the kids.