Why A Covert Narc Would Rather Die Than Apologize
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There’s a movie line that says “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Which isn’t remotely true. But it’s true for narcissists.
NO APOLOGIES
A covert narcissist will never apologize.
Partly because if they utter the word “sorry” they’ll spontaneously combust or their heads will implode. Or explode. Or they’ll keel over dead from a heart attack.
I kid. I’m not entirely sure what happens to a covert narcissist who apologizes, because it’s a phenomenon rarely observed in nature.
Sometimes you can coax a wild narcissist to speak the words under controlled conditions, in captivity. Or during the first heady days of love bombing, when they so desperately desire you.
But it’s like trying to breed pandas.
It’s a whole lot of noise and effort for very little result.
EMPTY WORDS
Even if they say “sorry”, they don’t mean it. A covert narcissist feels sorry about as much as Donald Trump felt sorry for grabbing women (and our entire country) by the p****.
WHY WOULD THEY?
Why won’t a covert narcissist apologize?
They won’t apologize because they don’t feel like apologizing. Because they think they’re always right.
If you’re right about something, do you feel like apologizing?
I mean, you are actually right. So naturally that’s how you would feel. But a covert narcissist feels exactly the same way. They feel like they’re right (even though they’re wrong)
So why would they apologize?
THEY’RE ALWAYS RIGHT
A covert narcissist isn’t evaluating the objective truth of a situation. They just “feel” like they’re right — and that’s where they stop.
FEELINGS VS EMOTIONS
So what is a feeling? Is it emotion?
Not exactly. Or rather, not only.
Emotion is, first and foremost, physical.
Fear is an emotion. It makes your heart beat faster. You feel flushed. Maybe you want to throw up.
Feeling is emotion processed through the higher mind — the rational mind.
It’s emotion distilled through the filter of thought.
EMOTION + THOUGHT
Two women get in a car accident. Both are afraid. Fear is the emotion.
How each one feels about the accident may be entirely different.
One might feel thank God it wasn’t worse. I’m so lucky”.
The other might feel “she spilled my coffee. I’m going to sue the crap out of her. My life is ruined.”
Same emotion. Two distinct feelings about it.
A COVERT’S BAD FEELING
Narcissists run their emotions through disordered minds, and the feelings that distill are ones like self-righteousness, grandiosity, entitlement, superiority, frustration, resentment, anger and uncertainty, among others.
THE BROKEN COVERT
Covert narcissists have a broken mind. They have a broken filter and so they can’t filter out obsessive and damaging thoughts. This leads to many broken and perverse feelings. They are broken people and they set about creating a broken world.
No one gets out of Narcworld unbroken.
No one.
Good luck out there. Myla
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: If you’re with a narcissist, leave. Go no contact if you can. If you’ve been a victim of physical or emotional abuse, call 800 — 799 — 7233
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