“Keep Off My Grass” — The Boundary-Blurring Covert Narcissist
Covert narcissists see boundaries as barriers to be broken.
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When you try to set boundaries with a covert narcissist, it first depends on where you’re at in the cycle.
Let’s say you’re still in the love-bombing phase.
If the narcissist just met you and they’re love-bombing the bejesus out of you, they’ll pretend to listen to your talk of boundaries.
They will always verbally agree with your boundary-setting cavalcade as you become, to them, the equivalent of a hall monitor with a little-Napoleon complex.
They’ll agree with everything you say.
Then set out to undermine it all. They break down your defenses.
You don’t know it yet, but you’ve actually turned the amp up to 11.
You’ve supercharged them.
Covert narcissists adore you saying things like “I would never do that”.
Because they KNOW it’s exactly what you WILL do. What you really want to do.
Go ahead and tell a covert narcissist in the love-bombing stage “I’m not comfortable moving so fast. Can we take this slower?”
They’ll agree with you 10,000 percent.
Then for revenge, they’ll ramp up the schedule on their metamorphosis from “loser who annoys you” to “soulmate you can’t live without”.
They do this cerebrally.
When the two of you talk, it feels like you can talk about anything.
They validate everything you say. They tell you how smart you are.
They talk about intelligent topics and they treat you like your intelligence is equal to or even superior to their own.
You fall in love with their minds and you think they’ve fallen in love with yours.
Once that’s happened, once the soulmate metamorphosis is complete, game over. No more talk of boundaries from you.
They will then take great pleasure in watching YOU beg THEM to take it faster.
Or whatever boundary they were originally bent on transgressing.
Covert narcissists LOVE the idea of storming your bastions.
They absolutely adore the idea of swimming across your moat.
They go into states of ecstasy at the thought of scaling your strong,
immovable walls.
But the truth is, they do none of these things.
They slip in a Trojan horse while you’re not looking.
A Trojan Horse they like to call “We Are Soulmates & Twin Flames.”
Once the certainty you’re meant for each other slips into your heart, infecting it like a virus, you’ll lower your OWN bastions, drain your own moat, and lower every wall you have- by your own volition.
Narcissists are basically lazy.
Why storm your bastions when they can just ask you to surrender?
good luck out there MYLA.
If you’re with a narcissist, leave. Go no contact if you can. If you’ve been a victim of physical or emotional abuse, here’s the number to call — DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE 800–799–7233 Get the NARCISSISM POCKET GUIDE
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