The Narrative Arc

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THE NARRATIVE ARC

How the Unexpected Guilt of Moving Abroad Made Me Question My Life Choices

On overcoming the guilt of choosing my own life path

8 min readFeb 19, 2025

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woman gazes out at River in Portugal
Image courtesy of author

Dad has been diagnosed with dementia.

The phone call made me feel exactly how I thought it would.

Conflicted.

This is not a man I am close to. I have had little doubt during my life that I was wanted far more by my mother than by him.

The call came from my younger brother, the only sibling of four to live close by to my parents. Assisting them as they age has largely fallen to him and, for now, he seems happy to help.

I on the other hand am 1500 miles away. The next few years are going to be incredibly hard on my brother and on my mother, who has already had such a tough life.

And I’m not there to help.

I feel the guilt of my decision to move abroad. I am leaving two people I love on their own to take care of my father.

But this isn’t just about feeling bad about leaving behind family, friends and ageing parents. I was prepared for that feeling.

What I have been unprepared for is another type of guilt. One that has seeped in during the last year…

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The Narrative Arc
The Narrative Arc

Published in The Narrative Arc

Medium’s best creative nonfiction — memoirs and personal essays. Eclectic, nuanced, entertaining. Follow us, or join our writers’ collective.

Charlie Brown
Charlie Brown

Written by Charlie Brown

Food, wine & culture writer. 12+ years in hospitality. Editor of Rooted, a Medium food & drink pub. thesaucemag.substack.com

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