THE NARRATIVE ARC

I Acted Like a Colossal Drunken Tool and Still Feel Bad About It Years Later

In my defense, I was an idiot

Patrick Metzger
The Narrative Arc
Published in
4 min readMay 18, 2024

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Sassafraz restaurant from outside on a sunny summer day
Sassafraz, Toronto. Drunk buffoons not pictured. Image by Paul MacKinnon on Shutterstock.com

Back in the aughts, when I was younger but still not objectively young, my social climber friend Declan and I used to drink at a restaurant called Sassafraz. It was cool, fancy, and theoretically frequented by Hollywood celebrities…

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Patrick Metzger
The Narrative Arc

Dilettante, smartass, apocalypticist. ***See “Lists” for stories by genre.***