THE NARRATIVE ARC
It Took a Wedding and Shots To Be Honest With My Dad
The truth that came out surprised us both
My relationship with my father is not what could be called normal. He grew up without a dad, which impacted him in ways that I could not understand. And I am gay, which put an invisible barrier between us because he could not understand.
Part of this was also because of my mother. She told me during their divorce that my dad preferred my sisters over me. “You know, he wanted you to be a girl. He was disappointed when you were a boy.”
It was reinforced by him doting on them and forcing me to do chores for scraps of money. It was like a gender-reversed Cinderella.
“You need to work for what you want,” he said to me on multiple occasions when I asked for something.
In seventh grade, my class was going to Chicago. I really wanted to go and asked my dad if he would pay for the trip. He went with his common refrain but also added that he had just paid for a field trip for my sister.
My mother’s point was coming in crystal clear. When she and my stepdad came through and gave me the money for the trip, they became my heroes.
