THE NARRATIVE ARC

My Mother’s Bad Advice Taught Me to Think For Myself

Wash your hair with mayonnaise was one of her beauty tips

Christine Schoenwald
The Narrative Arc
Published in
5 min readApr 25, 2024

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A dark-haired woman sitting on a hillside, looking up at the sparkler she’s holding in her hand.
Photo by Matheus Bertelli: https://www.pexels.com

“Put a bag of poop in your car,” my mother said. “That way, no one will want to steal it.”

“But if there’s poop in the car, I’m not going to want to drive it,” I said.

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Christine Schoenwald
The Narrative Arc

Writer for The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Next Avenue, Business Insider, and Your Tango Christineschoenwaldwriter.com