MOTHER/DAUGHTER | RELATIONSHIPS
This 49-Second Clip of Oprah Winfrey Gave Me a New Perspective on How To Love My Mother
Are we obligated to love our mothers simply because they are our mothers?
How do I accept a mother I don’t understand? Whose values differ from mine. Whose mothering has left me feeling unheard and unseen? Is it possible to love her even though I don’t accept her?
I’ve been grappling with these questions and the feeling of guilt they bring up for the past five years. Until then, I had been in denial of the dysfunction in our mother/daughter relationship.
Without question, I accepted it as normal that she would talk and I would listen. That only her experiences and knowledge were seen as valid. That regardless of my age, I’d forever be the child and she the matriarch. And most painful of all, her curiosity ended with herself and did not include me.
My mother isn’t a bad person. She was sixteen when she got pregnant with me. She could have aborted me or given me away. With no training, no education, and no skills, she chose to keep me and for that I am grateful. I know she always did the best she knew how to do.
