PERSONAL ESSAY | TEACHING
Those Who Can Teach Begin by Scratching the Surface
Fifteen years later, I have continued to scratch and the view far below the surface — was priceless
I stood behind the podium shaking like a leaf. I hoped they could not tell. The weight of making a great impression felt heavy. I worked hard to control the volume and the tone of my voice so that it wouldn’t crack. I knew that if I held it together for at least five minutes, the automatic teacher pilot would hopefully kick in.
Ten years into teaching, dressed to the nines — and still, first-day jitters visited without fail. “Damnit — why am I so nervous?! I know how to do this!”
And so it persisted.
Until —
Five weeks ago I returned to teaching after a nearly four-year hiatus from a long career (over fifteen years) in higher education.
I experienced zero nervousness. I owned these new spaces that fell completely under my control even though I had never taught on this campus or course.
I never would have imagined that time and distance from teaching were going to help me unwrap this rewarding perspective — a gift of sorts.
