Cleaning off the Lens: A Message of Self-love & Redemption
Although Douglas’ narrative discloses a different side of Douglas, he didn’t always have an inclusive space to share how he felt inside. As a kid, he was raised in a family of 11 and in an environment that didn’t approve of sharing his inner feelings. Instead, he commonly felt disconnected which later lead down a path he never imagined as a child.
Dealing with addiction and childhood trauma, Douglas hoped to receive help from community resources that many entrust in. However, he was instead met with a court system that commonly remedies someone’s need for help with punishment and was sentenced to serve over two years in a California prison.
Wrongfully incarcerated, Douglas stayed in touch with his creative outlets such as writing music and poetry. The ability to express himself and find forgiveness is what helped him find inner peace and stay grounded.
‘Would You Know Then?’ A Poem by Douglas Jessop
If I was to gather all the brokenness, battered memories that transpired. All the abandonment, ostracization, and discrimination I’ve acquired. Would you take a second to look at the pages in this book? Would you know then? Would it clean off your lens?
It’s easy to say the world is broken, that nobody cares. Because It’s the truth that we live in, we breathe in as its air. We don’t exhale we hold it in, so our dreams get impaired. Suffocating and surrounded as dead bodies stare. Not just in this lifeless society, but in the reflections that’s there. Even still, would you know then? Would it clean off your lens?
When I’d get beaten unconscious, as a child left there wanting. Just for a person to see me, instead devised to be rotten. From strangers that beat me, as my Dad the accomplice. To keep in line all his children better an image than be honest. Would you know then? Would it clean off your lens?
If I couldn’t run to my room, I’d act up in school. Nobody cared, yet through that I felt cool. Thinking toxic is love, nothing else that I knew. How dare I do better? When you are deemed as the fool. I wondered; would they know then? Would it clean off the lens?
You see I can go on with this for days; my life wasn’t easy. For some, trauma was an event, for me it repeated. Over and over past days I was pleading. Beyond taking my own life, woke up still depleted. Defeated and broken, still, in my heart I’d be screaming. Nobody cares in this world. Dear God, let me leave it. But then I thought, did I know then? As I bled through the lens?
So, while I was homeless on that cement, after prison I’d see. That if nobody cared, that still wasn’t me. As I forgave and let go, I started to breathe. What I knew then, is meant for me to speak. I took off the lens, no longer afraid to believe. In that message that stayed, when no one else really seen. The hope that does matter is the one that we feed. That which kept me alive, now I share truthfully.
Which is — You Matter.
The Numbers
- Because 97% of state and federal cases are resolved through plea bargains, there may be as many as 20,000 people currently incarcerated on a wrongful conviction (Innocence Project)
- Approximately 15–20% of people in jails and state prisons are estimated to have a serious mental illness (Treatment Advocacy Center)
- Formerly incarcerated people are 10 times more likely to be homeless than the general public because of barriers to employment and explicit discrimination (Prison Policy Initiative)
The Action
- Avoid using terms like “inmate,” “ex-con,” “ex-felon,” and “parolee,” when speaking about those that have faced or are currently facing any type of imprisonment. Use terms that are centered on the individual and not a past action: “formerly incarcerated person,” “person on parole,” “currently incarcerated person”
- Support organizations like DA Accountability Coalition
- Follow our fellow Douglas’ creativity on Soundcloud and Instagram
