How to use Suffering to your Benefit
For centuries Tibetan Buddhists have used suffering as a friend and were able to extract benefit from it. Here are some ways you can use them too:
Accept the fact that suffering is a fact of life. As human beings, we will suffer at some point. I will leave the causes for suffering for another post, but Buddhism points to four default sufferings that all humans have to endure; suffering of birth, old age, sickness, and death.
The trick is to divert your attention from the suffering, whatever it may be. If you nourish it, it will grow and soon engulf your mind. Focusing on pain and suffering will close the door for happiness.
The methods described here are in no way meant to belittle your pain or suffering in general. A broken leg, recent divorce, depression, and cancer are all real and painful. At the same time, we also know that a positive attitude is known to expedite recovery and hopefully decrease suffering in the present.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama in his book “Dalai Lama: A Policy of Kindness” says: “If you have a fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.”
Ok, now, how do we make use of the suffering?
When a Tibetan breaks his leg, we often say be happy that the other leg is fine. It may be the teachings or the unimaginable hardships we’ve faced in our lives as refugees that are helping us cope. Whatever the case, amidst suffering, we always try to find something joyful.
Use Suffering to Train in Renunciation
Dodrupchen Jikmé Tenpé Nyima, a great Tibetan master in the teachings of lojong or transforming the mind tells us to say this line repeatedly: “From now on, whatever I have to suffer, I will never become anxious or irritated.”
Acknowledge suffering as an obstacle and not the result. Your life is much greater than whatever pain you are going through right now. Turn your mind towards health, happiness, and freedom. Try to leave the suffering and move on. I know you can't do much about your physical pain but at least your mind is under your control.
Use Suffering to Train in Compassion
Say to yourself, “If it’s so hard for me to bear this little suffering, then what about millions of people suffering more than me.” Turning your focus on others and wishing them to be free from all suffering generates loving-kindness in you.
Use Suffering to Train in Taking Refuge
If you are a religious person, it is an excellent opportunity to develop a firm conviction to your faith. Realizing that the suffering in many forms will plague our lives, but the protection will never fail us, train in the practice of taking refuge.
If you are not a religious person, then seek refuge within. It is you who must protect you. Imagine a separate you: a patient and a doctor who must advise and guide the suffering patient. Identify the sufferings, dangers, and obstacles.
Use Suffering to Overcome Arrogance
If you are suffering right now, it is pretty clear that you were never truly free or had total control of your life. No matter how rich, educated, or beautiful you are, you are still at the mercy of the sufferings.
So take this opportunity to learn. An exaggerated sense of self-importance is not based on truth. Try to be humble, never belittle others, or consider them inferior.
Use Suffering to Find Joy in Positive Action
Take a moment to reflect on the opposite of suffering, which is happiness. The causes of happiness are positive actions.
Dwell upon these thought earnestly. Take your time;
How can you help others? How have you been treating your friends and family? Have you been truthful to yourself? Can you do something to improve yourself? Have you been taking care of your body? What about your mind? How do you treat people that look different from you (race, sex, wealth, disabled)?
Then try to act upon those positive actions; happiness will come looking for you.
Finally, Use Suffering to Cherish Others More Than Yourself.
Buddhist texts repeatedly instruct that the source of all happiness and goodness is to cherish others. The more selfish or self-centered we are, the more lonely and miserable we will be.
A long line at the checkout counter in the supermarket upsets us because we are only thinking about me, me, me, and not everybody else on the line. If we think about everybody else, the line will not get shorter, but we won’t be upset. Every sentient being has the right to happiness and does not want to suffer.
Conclusion
Buddhist master Shantideva says, “if a problem can be solved, what reason is there to be upset? If there is no possible solution, what use is there in being sad?”
To make use of your suffering and gain benefit from them, you must first check your anxiety and irritation whenever you are faced with discomfort. Once that’s stable, you could train on the methods above to alleviate your suffering and find happiness.
I hope this post will bring some benefit to you. Good luck.
Disclaimer: I am not a Tibetan Buddhist master. I share, hoping that someone may benefit, what I have learned from being a Buddhist student my entire life. To go deeper, you’ll have to find your own path and a teacher.
