Needs vs Values — what’s the difference?
Used interchangeably, the same but different. What makes something a value, and what makes something a need? Want to put it into action? Join the online course ‘How to fight well’ and learn how to work with healthy conflict.
Semantics can be frustrating and feel distracting. Mission. Purpose. Vision. Values. Needs. Intentions.
It’s easy to be dismissive but sometimes it is important, even if it’s to just give others a solid enough foundation to start making it work for them.
A question that often comes up in the work I do is: do our fundamental emotional needs = our core values?”
The answer is that Needs and Values are closely linked — or at least serve a very similar function and stem from the same root causes.
For the sake of clarity I describe Needs as dynamic and contextual, and Values as long-term and core.
Ultimately they are the same thing. A set of impulses and responses based on our conditioning and make-up.
You have a need for something because you were taught (explicitly or implicitly, from another or through personal experience) that it was important. That if you don’t get X in certain circumstances, it makes you less safe or less loved. You created a belief that became part of your operating system, part of your identity.
When we think about who we are — about the bigger picture, it’s those things that were laid down most strongly and we experience more frequently, that we pay attention to. We name these things as values — recognisable, near-predictable behavioural traits that makes us ‘us’.
When we think about ‘now’ — about what’s alive for me — we look to the immediate urges or impulses that are pushing and pulling us on the inside. These are needs.
Talking about needs is about focusing on the present. We’re not looking at past patterns or thinking about our identity, just on what’s going on for us right now, in this moment.
When we shift to thinking about our values, we’re looking more at the common and consistent preferences we have towards certain states or conditions — equality, creativity etc.
In the end you can call them values, needs or anything you like — it doesn’t really matter. It’s really just about being able to put language to something that is visceral (felt, in the body) and using it to communicate who we are.
Enjoyed this? Want more like it, delivered to your inbox? Subscribe to my publication Finding Steady Ground for regular articles, interviews and podcasts.
