Begin Again
September means the restart of school. Even now, this particular change of season — when the temperature drops and the days suddenly seem a lot shorter — reminds me of going back to school after the summer holiday. Conkers on the pavements and a different quality of sunlight send me back to my school days and the trepidation that usually accompanied this transition. While there is no school to return to anymore, similar feelings bubble up in me still and while I quite like Autumn, especially when the colours start to turn, I can detect some resistance in myself to the renewed drum beat of routine that replaces the relative freedom and happy disruption of summer.
Part of this seasonal transition is about the shift from holiday to routine, from play to work, from freedom to responsibility. The regular news headlines declaring economic crisis don’t help, but perhaps this time of year just has those aspects built into it. I am hearing it from many clients as they grapple with settling back into Business As Usual and all that that brings.
It has got me thinking about routine and its place in our lives; some of it stabilising and some of it tedious as hell. The ordinary, the day to day, the stuff that just needs to get done, or — as I sometimes describe it — “the space in between” the exciting stuff, is an inevitable ingredient of life and an unavoidable aspect of work. Personally, I get bored pretty quickly — in most areas of my life! As far as work is concerned, it is a major reason that consulting and project-based work suit me so well, as variety is infinite and I find myself working with a wide spectrum of clients from shipbuilders to tech entrepreneurs to Jesuit priests (to name but a few). And still, I need to dig deep sometimes to contain my itchy feet and my tendency towards that awful ‘B’ word — Boredom!
Buddhists talk a lot about the value of engaging with a “Beginner’s mind”. They are not talking about a technique for managing a tendency towards boredom, of course, but more the value of adopting a mindset of openness and ‘not knowing’ to the world as you experience it. Routine — attachment to it or immersion in it — can be one way in which we can become set in our ways, trapped in an established approach and complacent about stepping outside of that. And when routine really takes a hold, our energy can really drop, forcing out freshness and creativity.
When I undertook my Integral Coaching training a few years back, I was invited to take up a hobby or an activity that was new to me. It didn’t matter what it was. The point was simply to experience being a beginner again. I chose to learn how to ride a motorbike! I was planning to travel to India and having previously had a terrifyingly close encounter with an oncoming car when trying out someone’s moped in Bali, I decided this time to take lessons on a motorbike and learn properly before doing something similar in India. I already had a driving licence for a car at the time but was not at all in the habit of driving one. So talk about being out of my comfort zone! I was the worst in the class for a while (something I was not at all used to and which I hated), and definitely the last one to get the hang of actually driving the thing in a straight line without having at least one foot on the ground. I was in an anxious state most of the time and came very close to giving up on several occasions, fearing I would never master it. I even came close to bursting into tears at one point and was asked if I actually wanted to carry on! I was mortified — and determined to carry on! Gradually I got better; I made it round the practice yard without a hitch (nor a foot on the floor!) and then, I remember vividly, onto the main road for the first time — driving a motorbike in utter disbelief! Was this actually me??! The final test seemed interminable with the instructor sending us back to navigate endless roundabouts and along quiet stretches of road to do repeated emergency stops. But I did it and I passed. I was so proud of myself! It really felt like an achievement.
I never rented a motorbike in India in the end, but I remained grateful for the experience of being a beginner again, for the energy and fresh perspective which that experience brought me and for what I discovered about myself in the uncomfortable process. It was also a great reminder of what it is like for many people in a coaching process which is all about having the ‘L’ plates on in some area of life or work and being open to exploring a new way of being, doing or leading.
So if you are feeling twitchy about ‘the return to school / work’ routine or just fancy a fresh challenge, how about learning something completely new? Anyone up for learning to ride a motorbike?? I really recommend putting on the L plates and putting yourself in the ‘Beginner’s Seat’.
As for me, I have chosen to stretch myself this year by putting more of my own music out there in the world. I now have a Soundcloud account to which I upload my songs. It feels uncomfortable but also good. And still, I realise, I am up for another new stimulus or stretch. In a couple of weeks I am going to attend a one-day development workshop using creativity and masks. No idea what that will be like. But I would LOVE to hear any suggestions you have out there for interesting, challenging, quirky, meaty, creative experiences or courses that you think might inspire and delight me! A vision quest maybe? Or a session exploring self with horses? Or learning trapeze (as my Goddaughter recently suggested to me)..??!
Hit me with your suggestions. And tell me what you are up for.
