How Hard is Too Hard?
I have found the last month of work really hard. It’s been interesting, purposeful, enjoyable work but there’s just been too much of it. I have approached it with meticulous precision — transforming my flat into a military style Operations HQ, stacked with flipcharts full of project plans and devices bursting with to-do lists. I managed to maintain some healthy habits, meditating and exercising occasionally, refraining from alcohol for the most part and getting enough sleep. This definitely helped and so by the time last week — which I knew was going to be an especially ‘big week’ — finally arrived, I at least knew that I was well prepared.
Performance wise, I started well. I delivered my part of a new leadership programme for the first time and did the client (and myself) proud. My organisation went to plan, I navigated the eleven hours on screen each day and was really pleased with how it went. But by the time it got to Thursday morning, after a long train journey to the venue for my second job of the week, I was already exhausted. And then the thing I had not bargained for happened: I fell horribly ill. After attempting to start the session I was there to facilitate, despite feeling queasy, I was forced to make a hasty departure back to my room where I started throwing up. I then spent the rest of the day in bed, being looked after by concerned strangers from the hotel and my equally concerned client. It was a grim day. It’s no fun being ill and far from home.
By Friday morning though, I was back on my feet. I finished the job I had been unable to start and limped the interminably long way home.
Three days later, I am fully recovered, grateful for kind clients and kind strangers, and relieved the week is over. I am also still exhausted — not just from being sick, but from the whole week and the build up to it. And the funny thing is, I realise, that while for me this level of working is unusual, for many it is the absolute norm. When I mentioned to my client that I thought maybe I was just tired from being up at 5am and working til 6.30 on consecutive days, then travelling for hours and doing it again, he just laughed. And I understand why. He does this every day. And while it’s likely that I did actually catch some kind of bug, rather than just become overtired, part of me knows I simply could not do that every week. And — perhaps more importantly — would never want to. In fact, wasn’t that part of the reason I left corporate consulting?
I was recounting all this to a friend of mine today. She used to lead a young person’s charity which she stepped away from about five months ago. She is enjoying reprioritising life over work for a change. She said that she used to work like this too. She did it for years and while she loved the work she did and is proud of what she achieved, she also found her work regime gruelling.
So whether it is a defence sector engineering company, a young adult mental health charity, a humanitarian or public sector organisation, a tech start-up, a global cosmetics company or some other kind of corporate business, the regime seems to be the same. And it’s bloody tough. Some thrive on it — or so they say. Some accept it as the norm and just get on with it — perhaps losing their marriage, their mental or physical health or more besides, along the way. Some burn out. Some leave.
What I want to know though is why does it have to be this way? I am convinced there is a better, more human, more sustainable way. I do not believe that the ends justify the means. And I simply don’t understand why so many millions of us choose to live our lives like masochistic hamsters caught on a relentlessly spinning wheel.
