The Real Fuel Crisis
The last time I wrote a blog post was four months ago. In it I confessed to enjoying life a lot more, to not working so much and to feeling guilty about that. That was at the start of June. It is now the start of October and we are transitioning into the darker half of the year. Everyone is asking where the summer or indeed the entire year has gone. Chris Evans has already mentioned Christmas on his breakfast radio show. I also find myself asking where the year has gone and why it is that I have been so quiet for such a large part of it. I have written nothing for the last four months. This is very unusual for me. It is true that I have been continuing to enjoy life more. But if I am honest, this is not the reason for my social media silence. The real reason, I think, is that despite the re-opening of life, I have been totally lacking in inspiration. I have been aware of the blogging black hole that has been widening with each week that has passed and looking inside myself to see what is bubbling up for my pen to write down. But there has been nothing there. I have found it perplexing given my on-going delight at being back in the arms of the city I love. I do not feel depressed — I have a close relationship with that kind of darkness and it has not been that.
So why is that I have had nothing to say?
The reason, I am sure, is the accumulated impact of eighteen months of extreme disruption, anxiety, isolation and being chained (metaphorically if not literally) to my own sofa. Is it really surprising, given all of this, that my mojo packed its bags and took itself off on holiday, leaving me behind, my neon lights uncharacteristically dimmed? This is unprecedented in our lifetimes, remember? The initial phase of crisis was one thing. The subsequent periods of lockdown — endured in isolation in my case — were another. Then came the unfolding layers of economic, financial, psychological and educational difficulty, never mind the degree of conflict in families and communities that the pandemic generated. And don’t even get me started on the broader world picture of burning or flooded corners of the world, rape and murder and Afghanistan. Empty fuel stations and the prospect of no turkey for Chirstmas pale into insignificance in this context.
It has been tough. It has been tough in so many ways for so many millions of people for so many months. And it is not over. I know (and hear so many friends and family say the same) that I am lucky not to have been worse affected. But I have been affected and continue to be so. All of us are.
So yes, many millions of mojos have been lost. It is not just the petrol stations that are out of gas and this is manifesting itself in a myriad of different ways. One is a distinct lack of creative energy or inspiration. People feel flat. I sense a very deep level of exhaustion that is down to more than a lack of sleep. I hear a lot of clients talking about feeling unmotivated and I can relate to this. Another way in which it is manifesting itself is a deep-seated sense of dissatisfaction. Brené Brown and Amy Cuddy have named this ‘Pandemic Flux Syndrome’ which they say is characterised by people wanting to make dramatic changes to their lives (but not necessarily feeling any better after doing so). Neither of these meet a clinical threshold definition (in the way that depression or other serious mental illnesses do) but they are real and mean we are not, to use Neon’s language, “living, leading or working well”. To put it simply, we are simply not at our best and not even a seat indoors with friends at a restaurant or being able to walk into a pub without a booking or even a trip overseas, has been able to shake that completely.
Given my own preference for living fully and my passion for supporting people to live, lead and work well, this concerns me. And so this brings me to the second question: Why am I writing now? The first answer to this is that I realise many people are feeling the same way and that this piece might therefore be useful. If you are anything like me, you might be giving yourself a hard time for it (“What is wrong with me? Why have I run out of ideas? Things are so much better than they were — why can’t I just get on with it?) and want to invite those of you that have been doing the same, to replace this approach with awareness and self-compassion. And secondly, I would really love to share ideas about what we can do in our families, communities, schools and organisations to replenish our energy levels, nurture our wellbeing, revive our creativity and refuel our society (no pun intended…).
I have some ideas myself which I will be sharing in the coming weeks. But I would also love to hear yours! Maybe in the comments below, or maybe in a call or maybe even in person! One of the things I realised recently is that I had completely stopped reaching out to people in my network despite the fact that talking to interesting people about stuff that matters, is one of my favourite things to do! Finally, we don’t know for how long we will be able to do it, so carpe diem and all that! Mine’s a vodka martini (or a flat white 😳)!
