Unlocking My Hidden Character

Anna-Michelle Lavandier
The Nerd Castle
Published in
4 min readOct 16, 2016

By: Anna-Michelle Lavandier

Editor’s Note: This article has been published in the New Voices section of the Orlando Sentinel. Check it out here.

Growing up, often times the only sounds heard throughout the basement of my northern New Jersey home were the iconic Pokémon Blue 8-bit soundtrack from my older brother’s Game Boy Color.

Listening to the electronic tunes of my brother’s video games was an iconic part of Erick and my older sister Amy’s visits to my house. I remember being intrigued by the way he would explore this virtual world.

The thought of going out into the real world and having an adventure, just like the main playable character in the Pokémon games, fascinated me. I lived in a fairly decent sized town for most of my childhood. It wasn’t too far from New York City, but it felt very quiet. Not much happened in Bergenfield and I didn’t have a lot of friends.

At 9 years old, I made the decision to follow in Erick’s footsteps and discover this world of gaming. My parents bought me my own copy of Pokémon Blue and began my virtual adventure with the water Pokémon, Squirtle.

When I got older, my siblings introduced me to even more games. My sister introduced me to “Sims,” which she always dominated. My brother continued to play Pokémon and discovered World of Warcraft and Magic: The Gathering, but they never took off with me.

Gaming also allowed me to develop a close relationship with my younger brother, Edward.

Through the years, Edward (left) and I (right) have become very close thanks to gaming. Photo Credit: Edward Lavandier

As I played Pokémon Blue, Edward would look over my shoulder and watch me just as I watched over Erick’s shoulder. After the game became a series, I gave Edward my copy of Pokémon Yellow, his first video game, when he was about 7 years old.

We’ve played Pokémon together ever since. And even though we both explored other worlds and other games, we both credit our love of gaming, and Pokemon, to our strong bond.

The more I learned, the more involved I became with nerdery as a whole. From card games to board games to cosplay, I was fully immersed in this world and there was no way I was coming out.

Through gaming, I discovered anime. Through anime, I discovered manga. Through my favorite anime series, I began to make friends.

Once I made those friends, I didn’t want to keep gaming to myself anymore. I wanted to share my passion and experiences with people who felt the same way. Finally, I felt like I had found a place where I truly belonged.

But that isn’t to say there weren’t challenges along the way.

My parents never liked how involved I was in gaming. They were constantly dissuading me from playing, especially when I was little. Much to my parents’ dismay, I’ve always been on the more stubborn side.

At first they told me that games are only for boys. When I kept playing, they said I’d never make friends if I continued. When I kept playing, they told me that I was too old to play games and needed to grow up to get a real hobby or a job. When I kept playing, they told me no one would want to be around me, especially in a romantic relationship.

Eventually, they tried to stop me from sharing it with Edward.

When they told me to stop buying him games, I ignored them. When they told him that they wouldn’t buy the next generation console, in order to stop him from playing the latest games, I would buy it for him so that we could continue to play together.

While my dad still doesn’t understand our commitment to gaming, my mother has essentially let it go.

I’ll always be thankful to Nintendo for being the driving force that brought my siblings and I together.

Even if Edward is tragically on Team Valor and my sister-in-law Samantha, Erick’s awesome nerdy wife, and I wisely chose Team Mystic in Pokémon Go. :p

The Nerd Castle is an ongoing master’s capstone project with the CUNY Graduate School of Journalism that will be used to explore, showcase and expose diversity and the issues surrounding it within the gaming community.

Anna-Michelle can be found on Twitter @amlavandier. The Nerd Castle can also be found on Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr.



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Anna-Michelle Lavandier
The Nerd Castle

Journalist, gamer, anime/manga enthusiast, BTS ARMY since 2015 and avid coffee drinker. 2016 CUNY Social Journalism M.A. grad and 2014 UCF Journalism B.A. grad.